Nothing to Regret
by bailey1ak
Summary: A dare to kiss… Ronon/Keller story, with a little bit of Laura/Carson, John/Teyla, Rodney/Katie and Evan/Marie.
1. Double Dog Dare

_**A/N: **__I decided I wanted to try a Ronon/Keller story that started before Quarantine and the infamous almost kiss. __A very, very big thank you to Renisanz fo the beta! This story is definitely better because of you. Don't forget to review. Any type of criticism is helpful. Enjoy!_

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: The Return, Part 1 – Season 3

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1 – Double Dog Dare

Lt. Cadman looked around the poker table at the somber faces. This mood wasn't lending itself well to the game and after the third hand they were all leaning back in their chairs trying to get up enough enthusiasm to start another hand.

Yesterday the expedition members had been told they were all pulling out of the city at the Ancients insistence. Everyone from Earth would be returning through the gate. Some had already walked through the gate; the rest would be doing so through out the night in two hour increments slowly working through the remaining personnel and ending with the department heads at 0800.

The Daedalus would be taking back all of the gear and would be departing about the same time as the last of the expedition members walked through the gate. There were already a few girls conspicuously absent tonight because they'd already left or were preparing to.

Laura looked around at the group of women gathered and let out a sigh; she was going to miss them dearly. It wasn't that she wouldn't see them again, with the exception of Teyla, but she knew it'd never be the same.

"Ok guys, you're bringing me down here." Laura whined at them. "Obviously poker is not the best game to play when you're depressed."

"I just wish we had more time to do things together," Katie said thoughtfully.

"You mean like a last hurrah?" Jennifer asked.

"Sure," the botanist agreed, "Like an adventure. We should've gone camping, or hiking or even shopping together during the time we were here."

Marie agreed, "I think we all just thought we had time."

"I know of some lovely places we could have visited," Teyla added. "And I know of some great market places that would have been good for trading."

"There are all kinds of things I'll regret," Jennifer said sadly. "I guess that's why they say that hind sight is twenty-twenty."

"Well I know what I regret," Katie volunteered. "Now I'll probably never know if something could've come of Rodney and me."

"I'm sorry, Katie," Laura jumped in, "It's probably my fault Rodney backed off."

"It was out of your hands, Laura. I don't blame you for trying to help Rodney along." Katie giggled, "His erratic behavior did make more sense once he explained that the two of you were sharing the same body."

"Still," Laura said looking sympathetically at Katie.

"Nothing we can do about it now," Katie said frowning.

The room grew silent for a few minutes, each of the girls deep in thought. The only sound was the occasional liquid sloshing as the girls sipped on their beers.

Jennifer looked around the table at her friends, thankful she'd found them and hoping this departure didn't cost her them. As her gaze slipped past Laura she noticed a smirk starting to spread across the redhead's face.

"What're you thinking about, Laura?" Jennifer asked suspiciously. Laura was known for her brazenness.

"I just had an idea of a way we could all go out with a bang!" she said excitedly.

Each of the women looked at Laura with a bit of trepidation; Laura's ideas usually meant an amount of mental discomfort if not downright embarrassment.

"What is it?" Marie asked slowly, afraid of the answer.

"I won't say unless all of you promise you'll participate." Laura taunted.

"How can we promise if we do not know what it is we are to participate in?" Teyla asked.

"It's kind of a double-dog dare. Like one big dare each of us has to make a solemn promise to do." Laura looked around the room trying to gauge how convincing she was being. "Come on you guys, it's like a bonding thing we can all do, strengthen our friendships, a secret we'll all share."

Laura's suggestion was met with a long bout of silence.

"Why not," Katie said with a shrug of her shoulders. "You only live once and all that, right," she said sounding as if she was still trying to convince herself.

Jennifer looked hard at Laura through narrowed eyes before her gaze slid over to Katie. At least this had taken their minds off of their impending departures.

"Ok, count me in," Jennifer agreed reluctantly, "But Cadman, don't make me regret calling you my best friend," she said with a glare at Laura.

"I will participate also," Teyla consented.

"Well, if everyone else is in, then I guess I have to," Marie agreed, "But I'm with Jenn, I better not hate you for this."

"Geez girls," Laura laughed, "Where is your sense of adventure and daring."

Jennifer was already regretting saying yes, "Daring… you're going to make us do something embarrassing aren't you?"

"Well, it is a dare?" Laura said with a shrug of her shoulders. "So, onto the dare…"

She hesitated for added flare, "Before each of us leaves Atlantis we must kiss someone. The someone," she said holding up a hand to stave off the protest she could already see coming, "will be picked by the rest of us."

All of the girls began to protest at once.

"Hey, hey," Laura yelled grabbing their attention. "Let's do something daring for once, something that'll make us feel alive. This will be something we can retell and laugh about forever."

"I feel like I'm in high school again," grumbled Katie.

"Ok," Laura started, not deterred by the grumbling, "Let's agree on the rules:"

The rest of the girls get to pick who

You cannot tell the guy that it is part of a dare

You must kiss on the mouth for a minimum of five Mississippi's

You have to kiss the guy between now and when you leave Atlantis

"If someone doesn't complete their dare they must buy us dinner when we get back together. This way we can tell each other how it went." Laura paused and looked at Teyla, "I wish you were coming with us."

"I will miss each of you too, but my people need me now more then ever," Teyla replied with regret.

"I'll tell you what; if we ever get the opportunity to return or send you a letter we'll relay all of our adventures to you," Laura suggested.

"That would be lovely," Teyla agreed already anticipating the hilarity of reading such a letter, especially from Laura's perspective. "And I will do the same given the chance."

"Ok, so who should we pick for first?" Marie asked.

"How about you?" Laura replied.

"I had to ask," Marie said nervously. She watched the girls huddle for several minutes whispering away and began to regret she agreed to this whole dare thing. At least she would have the fun of helping pick for the rest of the girls.

With nerves riding high and each girl trying not to think about the dare, the get-together broke up shortly after the targets were picked and revealed. Each girl left for their quarters to try and get some sleep, but it'd be a very restless night for all.


	2. Executing the Dare

_**A/N: **__So happy for the reception this story has gotten. Would do somersaults if I was talented, but I think I'd just injure myself and give my husband one more reason to think I'm a geek (other then my obsession with SGA and R/K). __Don't forget to review. _

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: The Return, Part 1 – Season 3

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2 – Executing the Dare

"Knock, knock," Laura said as she entered Jennifer's quarters on Atlantis. She knew Jennifer was scheduled to leave in about an hour and she came by to say her goodbyes. Well, actually… she'd come by to see if Jennifer had fulfilled her dare requirement. Who in the hell was she kidding; she wanted to know if Jennifer had laid one on the scary Satedan.

When she looked around Jennifer's quarters she noticed the only two things in the room were Jennifer herself and a rolling suitcase by the door.

"Where is all your stuff," Laura asked astonished, "I expected to see you rushing around trying to finish packing."

"I already took everything down for transport to the Daedalus," Jennifer said looking slightly exhausted.

"How very organized of you," Laura mocked.

"Oh, shut up," Jennifer bit back. "I couldn't sleep last night just thinking about this stupid dare, so I finally gave up and packed. I was actually done about an hour ago."

"So here you sit?"

"I would stand, but I don't think my legs will support me," she lamented.

"Oh, stop being so melodramatic."

"Don't worry, I'm going to do it," Jennifer assured Laura. "I'm just trying to phsych myself up for this." Jennifer shook her head as the panic came back for a moment. "It's just going to be the most embarrassing moment of my life."

"Maybe, but you have got to admit, once you walk through that gate back to Earth, you'll have a grin on your face," Laura pointed out.

Jennifer looked at Laura and smirked, "Yeah, it'll be a great memory, I'll give you that. I'll also be stepping out of my comfort zone, and I'm sure it's good to do that every once in a while."

"Way out of your comfort zone," Laura laughed.

Jennifer punched her in the arm, "Shut up… don't you have someone you need to kiss?"

"Oh, don't worry; I'm looking forward to it."

"Of course you are, you freak!"

"Ok, well… give me a hug and go kiss the man. You're running out of time."

"Yeah, yeah," Jennifer said standing to give Laura a hug. "See you in a few weeks."

"That you will," Laura said with mischief in her eyes and a smirk on her face, "I can't wait."

* * *

Jennifer stood outside Ronon's quarters trying to get up the nerve to knock. She had done all of the procrastinating she could. She'd even walked her bag to the gateroom to buy herself a few more minutes, but now she was down to the wire. She had about 10 minutes to do this and get back to the gate.

Not only was she scared, but she felt a little bad for the way she was going to ambush the man in a few seconds. They weren't even friends, she'd stitched him up a few times in the infirmary when Carson was busy and that was all. She'd probably said maybe a dozen words to him total, ever.

Jennifer had tried to put herself in his shoes. If the situation was reversed how would she respond, what would she think? But in any scenario it seemed like it'd be shocking, but not maddening and Jennifer was going to hold onto that thought.

Jenn lifted her hand and waved the sensors on his door.

* * *

Ronon shuffled about his room finishing his packing. He'd put it off until a few minutes ago because he didn't have much to pack. The department heads were leaving in about eight hours and he and Teyla would leave shortly after that.

Teyla had invited him to come and stay with her and her people for the time being. Without anywhere to go, it seemed like as good a solution as any.

He didn't know he'd feel this kind of loss at having to leave the city and say goodbye to the members of the expedition. He'd grown attached to them much more quickly then he wanted to admit.

There was a chime from his door a few moments later. He was surprised to find Dr. Keller standing just outside looking nervous. His thought was maybe she or Dr. Beckett needed help with something, maybe equipment or supplies moved for transport to the Daedalus.

"Ronon," she said before clearing her throat and casting furtive glances both behind him and up and down the hall. "Can I come in for a moment?"

Startled by the request he stepped aside and let her enter. He was curious what she could possibly need of him and why she was so obviously uncomfortable.

As the door slid closed, he moved into the room with ease, while she stayed rooted near the door. When he turned and she hadn't moved, he crossed his arms across his chest and looked her in the eye. "Is there something you need, Dr. Keller?"

She began to pace slightly and she opened her mouth to speak several times before she finally got started. "I'm just on my way… um… to the gate…to leave." She stumbled through.

Ronon hated that his presence made people nervous, and yet part of him was amused by it some of the time. It was fun to make people jump with just a look. He hadn't thought that this doctor was uneasy around him like many of the other members of the medical staff. That was one of the reasons he was ok having her treat him when Carson was busy. But she was clearly uneasy at this moment.

"You're with the next group to leave?" he prompted, hoping her mission would become clear.

"Yes… um, we're scheduled to leave in a few minutes." He noted she didn't make eye contact.

After another moment of silence she spoke up again. "I just came by to… um, say goodbye." She looked up in his eyes for a moment before looking away again. "Please be careful out there. Make sure Teyla is too," her eyes met his for a moment, "I'm going to miss her."

He noticed the layer of sadness that her nervousness hid until this moment. He watched her slowly turn to leave while mumbling something under her breath. When she was almost to the door she suddenly stamped one of her feet and turned around.

He was startled to see a very determined look upon the young woman's face as she walked purposely toward him. Four steps later she was directly in front of him placing her hands upon his crossed arms and raising up on tip toe. Before her intentions could register in his mind her lips were upon his.

For a moment his mind went blank before realizing he was being kissed by the young doctor. Then another moment before he acknowledged he was still being kissed. He slowly moved his arms from between them to around her waist and carefully pulled her in closer, offering his support as he deepened the kiss.

He didn't want to scare her away, she'd clearly been nervous before taking this step, but he also didn't want to let her go yet. He was unsure what had prompted her to kiss him, but it'd been a long time since he'd had this type of contact with anyone, and the pull this kiss seemed to have on him was leaving him with no thoughts other then to not let it end.

He felt her hands clutching his shirt as she slowly pulled away moments later. He looked down at her upturned face and watched as she slowly opened her eyes. He noted the instant she realized what had just occurred before she let out a quiet shriek and quickly stepped back from him.

Her hand came up and touched her lips as her face became red with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, Ronon," she said while backing away from him. She didn't turn her back on him until the door had slid open.

When his mind caught up to the fact she was leaving he hastened to the door only to see her fleeing down the hall. It was several minutes before he turned and walked back into his room completely confused, but a smile was slowly making its way across his features. A moment later he found himself chuckling to himself as he went about finishing his packing. Sometimes these people from Earth could really surprise you.

* * *

Jennifer lay back on her bed in the quarters she'd been assigned while she was at the SGC. She wasn't yet sure how long she'd be here, but they had several days of debriefing to attend and had been assured the SGC and IOA would be in contact with them concerning their future employment.

None of that really mattered to Jennifer at the moment. She didn't know exactly how she got herself through the gate and to this room. Her mind had been on autopilot as she tried to keep from thinking. She didn't want to think about 'the kiss' until she was in the privacy of her room.

But now as she lay on her bed it all washed over her again and she found herself reliving the moment.

_Jennifer turned to leave; there was no way she was going to be able to go through with this. Damn Cadman and her stupid dare. As she took a step toward the door she reminded herself she'd never see this man again. She would walk away and she'd be the only witness to the event other than Ronon. The only person he could really tell would be Teyla, and she already knew it was Jennifer's dare._

"_Quit being a wuss," she mumbled to herself. She was in an entirely different galaxy, one that was life threatening on a daily basis. This dare should be nothing compared to that. _

_She turned herself around and faced Ronon, in her mind chanting she could do this. After taking a deep breath she walked straight up to him, placed her hands on the arms he still had crossed across his chest to balance herself as she went up on tip toe._

_As her lips touched his she tried to ignore his stiff stance and unyielding lips and concentrate on counting out her Mississippi's._

_One Mississippi…she was also going to ignore the zing she felt tightening her chest._

_Two Mississippi…she was going to ignore all thoughts of how embarrassing this was or what he was thinking._

_Three Mississippi… she felt him move his arms that she'd been holding for balance, but she wasn't going to let that stop her, she was over halfway through this. Her hands grasped his shirt to maintain her balance as she felt his arms move around her._

_As he pulled her in closer and she felt his lips begin to move under hers, she completely lost count. She was totally lost in this kiss, in his arms and all thoughts as to how she got there or why she was there, vanished. _

_As the butterflies in her stomach fluttered and her chest tightened at the hitch in her breathing, she began to pull away, needing to take a breath. Caught in the moment of being held close, her eyes slowly began to open. As her upward gaze focused she found herself looking up into a face full of wonder, as well as confusion._

_Then reality crashed in on her and she realized she'd just kissed Ronon. She heard herself shriek as she fled the room - __**what in the hell had she just done?**_

Jennifer touched her lips at the memory, some of the embarrassment easing. She felt herself start to smile and realized she was actually proud of herself. She'd done it. She couldn't wait to tell Laura that she'd actually done it.

She'd kissed a man on a dare and she wasn't going to let the fact he was in a whole different galaxy diminish what she considered a great feat for herself. She'd never been very brave socially speaking, so this was definitely out of character and something that she'd never forget. Laura was right; they had gone out with a bang.


	3. Rehashing of the Dare

_**A/N: **__So this is a longer chapter, but I'm sure you can appreciate that the girls needed some time to tell their stories. D__on't forget to review. _

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: The Return, Part 1 – Season 3 – Still… it kind of covered a lot of time!

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3 – Rehashing of the Dare

Jennifer looked around the room and found herself thankful for her friends. The Daedalus had gotten back from Atlantis about three days ago and the girls had finally found time to get together.

They were all still currently living on base at the SGC and had gathered in Jennifer's room for a girl's night because she had the most furniture. Jennifer was staying on at the SGC and working in the infirmary. Because of the schedule doctors keep she'd decided to save money for now and just make her quarters as homey as possible.

They all had pints of ice cream they'd bought during a raid on the local convenience store earlier in the evening and had finally settled in for the night.

"So," started Laura, "I know we're all dieing to know how each of us did with the dare, so why don't we start." Laura looked around the room, "I don't suppose anyone wants to go first?"

Laura's request was met with nervous giggles from the group.

"Katie, you kind of inspired the dare, would you go first?"

"Sure," she said hesitantly, "Inspired huh…well…after I finished packing up in the botany lab I decided to go and find him before I went back to grab my own belongings."

"_Rodney," Katie called as she wandered into his lab. She knew this is where he'd be, tinkering with everything he could for as long as he was allowed. _

"_Rodney, are you in here?"_

"_Yes, yes, I'm over here." she heard from the far corner of the lab. She looked over and found him hunched over a laptop with several Ancient items next to him._

_As she moved closer she became more determined that she'd do this and not be embarrassed. Rodney would just have to deal with it._

"_Are you almost ready to go?" she asked pleasantly._

"_Not even close. I can't believe we're letting them kick us out of Atlantis. After not only saving them, but also this city on different occasions, it just seems so… ungrateful of them!" he said in exasperation._

"_It is their home, Rodney." Katie quietly reminded him._

"_I know… I just don't want to leave; there is so much they could show us… that we could learn from them. There are so many things that we should tell them and show them that they may not know has happened." He said frustrated._

_Then he looked at her oddly as if he just noticed who it was in his lab. "Did you need something?"_

"_I was just coming by to say goodbye. I'm not sure what is going to happen once we reach the SGC so I may not get a chance to see you after we leave."_

"_I'm sure we'll see each other again." He said trailing off with some discomfort in his voice._

"_Rodney, I know we didn't get a great start, what with you having Laura in your body and the two of you almost dying," she paused to look at him and gauge his receptiveness to what she was saying. "I do wish we could've tried it again though, I think we would've had a chance of something good coming of it." She knew she sounded wistful or hopeful, but she couldn't help it, she was a gal that was always hopeful._

_He looked a little shocked at her admission, and his discomfort had him looking for something to occupy his fidgeting hands. Katie decided to take that as a good sign._

"_So, Rodney, I guess this is goodbye for now. Be careful where ever they send you, and try to be happy, I mean that."_

"_Uh… you too, Katie," he stammered, obviously at a loss for words and feeling uneasy._

"_Can I get a hug, Rodney?" she asked in a patient voice, hoping he wouldn't refuse. She didn't know how she'd get a five Mississippi kiss out of him if he didn't at least stand up._

"_Uh… yeah, sure," he said while almost dislodging his chair in his haste to stand up. "So… um, goodbye? Katie?" he said as if it was a question as he awkwardly gave her a hug._

_She allowed him to pull back slightly before she pulled his head back down and placed her lips on his. Although he did seem shocked by it, he quickly began to return the kiss. After what had to be more then the mandatory five Mississippi's she pulled away to leave him. _

_He only allowed a slight distancing while he seemed to search her eyes for something. A moment later she was pulled back in as he initiated another kiss. She lost herself in the moment wishing they could've found their way to this without a dare, without the backdrop of them having to leave the city and probably each other._

_She pulled back again and looked up into his face; she laid her hand against his cheek and smiled at him tenderly. "That is something we should've done a long time ago," she whispered with a grin._

_He looked at her sheepishly, before grinning in agreement._

"_I need to go, Rodney. I hope to see you back on Earth." She pulled out of his arms and gave his hand a squeeze before stepping away._

"_Yes, yes, of course," he stammered as she left him and his lab._

"All I can say, guys, is that I'm so glad that we had this dare," Katie said giggling.

"You almost make Rodney sound romantic," Laura said with a little bit of awe in her voice.

"So, don't keep us in suspense," Jennifer teased, "Have you seen him since we've been back."

The others watched Katie and her excitement was contagious, "He has actually taken me out on a couple dates when he happened to be in town. He spends most of his time at Area 51, but the effort he makes when he is here is promising.

Marie was returning to her place on the couch with chips, salsa and a fresh beer out of the mini fridge, "You deserve to be happy, sweetie," she said as she gave as much of a hug as you can while holding onto food. "Don't let him take you for granted either," she warned with a nod of her head as she reclaimed her seat on the couch.

"Are you thinking of transferring to Area 51," Jennifer inquired?

"Not unless he asks," Katie responded, "Don't want to make this too easy for him.

Katie turned and looked back at Marie settled on the couch, "I'm really interested in how you did with Major Lorne."

"Me too," Jennifer quickly agreed with a laugh and a wink.

Marie grinned at the girls waiting to hear her tale. She had relived it in her mind so many times already and knew the girls would get a kick out of it.

"Well, I'd already packed up my belongings, but they still needed to go to the Daedalus." Marie snuggled down in the cushions of the couch, warming to her story. "I decided to check the infirmary one last time to make sure we weren't leaving anything behind."

_As Marie wandered through the infirmary she grew pensive, she really had enjoyed working here with Dr. Beckett and getting to know Jennifer and the girls. She thought about the dare and realized she better devise a plan shortly if she wanted to complete the dare before leaving Atlantis._

_Then, speak of the devil, into the infirmary walked Major Evan Lorne himself._

"_I'm sorry, Major, but you're a little late," she smirked at him thinking about the shock he was in for when she kissed him shortly. "Nobody's here anymore."_

"_I wouldn't say nobody," he teased back; "I still see my favorite nurse is here, maybe I came to see you."_

_They'd always had this type of repport, a very flirty friendship, and she'd really enjoyed teasing the man. He could take it in stride and always had a witty comeback. She hoped that kissing him didn't ruin their relationship; she'd hate to lose this._

"_I should be so lucky, Major." She responded, hand fluttering to her chest as if she was about to swoon._

"_I keep telling you, you can call me Evan."_

"_And I keep telling you, you can call me Marie," she teased back, "and yet here we are, and you still insist on calling me your favorite nurse. The Major and his nurse," she said thoughtfully, "Sounds like the making of a steamy romance novel." She knew she was probably pushing him a little out of their comfort zone, but challenging him a little might make this an easier dare to accomplish._

"_Now it's I that should be so lucky," came his laughing retort as he wandered closer to where she was standing._

"_Not sure you could play the hero, Major?" she challenged, not able to hide her grin. "Or am I not heroine material?"_

_By this time he was standing in front of her and she realized the mischief gleaming in his eyes was having a strong affect on her breathing._

"_You've kind of backed me in a corner here it seems," he retorted, trying to sound wounded. "Sweetheart, I definitely think you can pull off the heroine," he winked at her, "I'm hoping you can see me in the role of hero."_

"_Well, step back, let me take a look at you," she said playfully giving him a shove._

_Obeying her order he stood up straight, a step away from her, arms spread wide as he slowly spun in a circle. "Well, what do you think, could I pass muster?"_

"_Well, you do look dashing in the uniform, and…" she paused for affect; "there is always the flyboy allure, but hero…?" she trailed of trying to look doubtful._

"_I think," she said, taking a step towards Evan, "I will need a demonstration." She slowly slid her arms up and around his neck. She paused, watching his features; waiting for any indication she may be freaking him out. _

_At her hesitation she felt Evan slide his arms around her waist, "Don't chicken out on me now, Marie." She saw the dare in his eyes, and without another moments hesitation she kissed him._

_It started out as a very tentative kiss, both exploring the sensation of their lips on the other, but Evan quickly deepened it. So this is what they'd been tip toeing around this whole time. This is what had been fueling their banter._

_When the need to end the kiss came a few minutes later, Evan reluctantly lifted his head, but didn't release any of his hold on her. Forehead to forehead they looked at each other for a moment before Evan began to laugh. "What was that all about, woman? If this is about leaving and goodbyes… don't. We may be leaving the Pegasus galaxy, but we're not saying goodbye." He looked in her eyes, "You hear me?"_

"_Yes, Evan, I hear you," she droned back at him, while her heart was leaping._

"_Well, now that that's settled," he laughed as he claimed her lips again._

"It's a good thing I was already packed or I'd never had made it through the gate," Marie laughed, looking around at the shocked faces of her friends. "What?"

"Now your just plain making that up," Laura accused with laughter and mock jealousy in her voice.

"I've seen the two of you sparking off each other," Jennifer confirmed, "It was bound to happen eventually."

Marie looked at Jennifer, "You knew that was what we were going on about? What kind of friend," she teased, "would keep that kind of information to herself?"

"Oh, no you don't," Jennifer grinned back at her, "that is the type of information a girl has to find out on her own. Sounds like you had a fun time finding out, too," she smirked.

"Well yeah, maybe," she conceded with her own smirk. "The downside now is I haven't really seen him since. He is constantly out on missions; it's been so long that I worry it'll be awkward when we finally do catch up with each other." She grinned again, "So worth it though."

Jennifer turned to Laura, "So what about you, oh beloved instigator. Were you able to accomplish your dare? How did Dr. Beckett take having you ambush him with a kiss again, only this time with your own body?"

"I'd rather hear about you and Ronon," the red head countered.

"Quit stalling, girlfriend," Jenn teased her; "you did actually kiss the good doctor, didn't you?"

"Of course I did," Laura replied indignant, "And I did it without having a panic attack first like you."

"Ooh…" Katie commented, "It sounds like Jennifer's might be the best story. We should definitely save that one for last."

"Yes," Marie agreed, "Out of all the dares, you may have had it the hardest since you and Ronon don't really know each other." Marie's eyes danced with merriment, "Or at least you didn't."

"All right already, it's almost like you guys can smell blood in the water," Jennifer complained embarrassed. "Let's hear how Laura did, I'm sure she has a great story… its Laura we are talking about after all."

"Ok," Laura relented as she stretched out on the bed facing the girls so she was more comfortable. "It seems I was a little too confident about how easy my dare would be."

_Laura saw the man she had spent the last hour looking for standing against the rail on the pier near the Daedalus. She figured he must have personally brought a load out and then wandered over to the railing._

_She understood the need to look at the city, out over the water, to soak it all in. Even though she'd not lived here in Atlantis, she'd been captivated by its beauty and strength. The thought of not coming back or seeing the city in the distance from the bridge of the Daedalus was distressing._

_Laura slowly made her way over to the solemn figure. He didn't flinch at her arrival and when she slipped her arm through his he didn't seem surprised._

"_How are you, lass?" Carson quietly asked._

"_Looks like I'm doing better then you," she said, looking at his profile. The man was quite good looking, and that accent…_

"_These people, they need me. This galaxy needs me, and there's not a bloody thing I can do 'bout it," came Carson's saddened reply._

_Laura leaned her head on his shoulder, feeling the need to comfort. "We'll find a way back Carson, it just might take some time. I know you'll be back."_

"_Thank you, lass…" he seemed far away, lost somewhere in his thoughts. "Did you need somethin'," he asked, some concern in his voice._

_She lifted her head off his shoulder so she could look at his profile again, "No… I was just coming to say goodbye. I'm not sure what the SGC has in store for the Daedalus."_

"_I know what you mean, they offered me a job at the SGC, but… it might kill me to be that close and not be able to get here."_

"_Carson, why didn't we work?" It was something that Laura found herself thinking about when her mind wandered. She would really like to hear Carson's take on it._

"_I think the timing has never been good. The infirmary is always a wee bit busy, and the Daedalus is always coming and going."_

"_So you think that if we ever stayed in the same spot long enough, we may have a chance," she added a hint of teasing to her voice to lighten the gloomy mood._

"_Aye, I think we could've made a go of it if we'd had that chance," a small smile graced his lips._

_Laura moved between Carson and the railing and slid her arms around his neck. He didn't seem surprised by her actions and she found he had slid his arms around her waist. It was this ease with each other that made Laura hopeful they may still find each other somewhere down the road._

"_When our paths cross again, I'm going to hold you to that," she warned him._

"_Please do, lass," he smiled at her and she noticed that it reached his eyes and made him even more handsome._

_Laura wasn't sure who leaned in first, but she noted that neither seemed surprised to find themselves kissing. She wanted to stay right here, to never move, to be in his arms. He brought such calmness to her expressive and impulsive soul. _

_Even as the kiss intensified she felt at peace. The sensation confused her as much as it thrilled her._

_When she looked into Carson's eyes after the kiss ended she was disarmed by the passion and delight she saw there. "Lass," Carson chuckled while retaining his hold on her, "maybe if we'd done that a year ago we'd have made the effort to find a way." _

"_That did pack quite the punch," Laura conceded in awe. "Well, I should go," she said in resignation as she started to pull out of Carson's arms._

"_The hell you say, you aren't goin' anywhere, missy. I'm not scheduled to leave for another hour…"_

_They were interrupted by the sound of Sheppard's voice, when they turned they found him pointing at the com in his ear, "Lt. Jefferies is transporting the last of McKay's equipment and Lt. Cadman is standing here by the Daedalus awaiting Lt. Jefferies arrival to assist in loading McKay's equipment." Sheppard was grinning like an idiot at the two while maintaining a very polished voice. "Your welcome, sir. We'll see you in a few weeks."_

"_Colonel Caldwell wanted to know why two members of his crew had not boarded the Daedalus." Sheppard smirked at the pair, "I assured him you were delayed by some last minute business." Sheppard turned to Carson, "How you doing, Doc."_

"_I'm doin' just fine I'll have you know. Now, if you'll excuse us there are a few things I still need to discuss with Lt. Cadman here."_

"_Sure, Doc," he chuckled, "I'll see you at the gate." Sheppard turned and began to walk away, "Goodbye, Lt. Cadman," he threw over his shoulder._

"_Goodbye, sir."_

"_I'm sure we have but a few minutes, lass," Carson told her, "Let's not waste a one." A moment later Carson's lips found hers and he kissed her as if he had no intention of letting her go. Laura held on tight while she lost herself in his arms._

"Laura," Jennifer exclaimed, "I don't know if I should be happy or sad for you."

"I know," Laura agreed. "Walking away was the hardest thing to do; I still don't know what we're doing, if it meant anything."

"Well, now that you're here," Marie voiced, "The two of you should be able to find that out."

"I wish… Caldwell informed us when I got off shift tonight that we'll be heading right back out again in a week."

"Knowing you, you'll find the time," Jennifer stated knowing that her best friend would make it happen.

Katie grinned at Jennifer, "So that leaves us with you. We are all dying to know how it went with the Satedan hunk."

"Yeah," Laura giggled, "when I stopped by an hour before your departure time you were panicked."

"I'll have you know," Jennifer laughed, "That I stayed panicked right up until the moment I found myself in an entirely different galaxy than the man. Knowing that I won't see him again takes some of the embarrassment factor away."

Jennifer settled herself on the bed and told them of her 'big adventure'. She received a lot of _oohs_ and _ahhs_ when they heard Ronon kissed her back, followed by a lot of ribbing from the girls for running away, shrieking after the kiss.

"I so, so, so wish I could've seen that," Laura laughed along with the girls. "You definitely left Atlantis with a 'bang'."

"Yeah, yeah," Jennifer started, "enough about me. I think we should resume the girl's poker nights."

"Yes," agreed Katie," we have to."

The other girls agreed and shortly after called it a night. Jennifer got into bed, and like many other nights allowed the 'what if's' to consume her until sleep overtook her. What if they had stayed on Atlantis, what if she'd been brave enough to stay the few remaining minutes before her appointed gate time, what if…

_

* * *

_

A/N2:

_Don't forget to review. Tell me which pair you liked the best in respect to the dare and maybe who you wish would have been paired in the dare. _

_I played with alternate pairings, but they didn't work for this story. I was dwelling on possibly trying my hand at a one-shot (I have never done one of those) so maybe a companion one-shot later with some of those other pairings would be interesting… like a what if?_


	4. Settling Back In

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: The Return, Part 2 – Season 3

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* * *

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4 – Settling Back In

Jennifer watched from the window of the Daedalus as Atlantis came into view. _Home_, the feeling swept over her as she watched the spires and towers sharpen and come into focus as they descended toward the city. The last time she'd experienced this feeling was when visiting her father and her childhood home in Wisconsin during her college years.

She continued to watch as the Daedalus descended towards the west pier, with the decrease in altitude she felt a rise in the restless giddiness she was experiencing. She couldn't wait to unpack and she definitely couldn't wait to see everyone and begin working shifts in the infirmary again.

She knew she'd make a more concerted effort to take in and enjoy everything about Atlantis and the Pegasus galaxy this go around. The time she'd spent away would make this new stint in the city different.

She had been gone nearly ten weeks, a very long ten weeks. After six weeks at the SGC they heard the Ancients had all been killed by a takeover of the city by the Replicators. About a week later they were informed that Sheppard's team had successfully eradicated the Replicators from the city and that Atlantis personnel could return there. The three week ride on the Daedalus could not extinguish her excitement of getting to go home.

The only thought that dampened her joy was Ronon. It wasn't even that she was afraid of seeing him. In the general course of her day she typically didn't see him. A couple times a week he'd wander into the infirmary either with an injury or with someone that had an injury. Dr. Beckett tended to most of the injuries of Sheppard's team, kind of like an unwritten rule. She'd assist if more then one of them was hurt or Dr. Beckett was involved in another case.

She wasn't worried about what Ronon thought either. She wasn't going to try to convince herself that he probably didn't even remember; she'd guess that it wasn't something he'd have forgotten. How many times do you get kissed out of the blue by someone you don't really know? And if that _was_ an everyday occurrence for him she was sure the shrieking and running away would help her stand out.

Her biggest worry was that she'd find herself alone with Ronon. She just knew it'd be an agonizingly uncomfortable time and she wasn't looking forward to it. The bright side was that most likely it would occur in the infirmary, on her ground…

Jennifer was pulled from her thoughts when the back of her knee was bumped causing her leg to give. She caught herself and whirled around, already knowing who it was.

"What are you, in high school still?" Jennifer teased knowing that Laura only messed with her as a distraction.

"Are you going to get off this ship or am I going to have to throw your butt off?" Laura rebutted.

"I'm fine; I was just taking in the sight. I don't get to see the city from the air very often… well actually ever."

"I have to agree that it's a beautiful sight, but now that looking out the window just shows an ocean, I suggest we go find Teyla and the girls and make plans for tonight."

* * *

"I am amazed that each of you was successful in completing your dare." Teyla smiled at the girls gathered around. "I wish each of us could have witnessed these dares being completed. I would have loved to see the faces of the men that were kissed."

Teyla turned to Jennifer, "I especially would have loved to see Ronon's reaction to being kissed by you. To my knowledge you and Ronon were but mere acquaintances prior to this kiss."

"We are still but mere acquaintances," Jennifer laughed. "I think that we'd all like to know how it went with your dare," Jennifer emphasized the point with a lift of her eyebrows.

Teyla began to laugh, "Actually, I must admit that I failed the dare."

The girls stared at Teyla dumfounded. If anyone is able to follow command, be matter of fact, or follow through on a promise, it is Teyla.

"Did an opportunity not present itself?" Marie asked feeling bad for Teyla.

"It is not so much that I didn't intend to bring about the kiss…"

"_John," Teyla called as she entered his room. She didn't find him there, but she had checked everywhere else she could think of since leaving the girl's poker night. She knew that with being in charge of the evacuation of the city, his time was very limited. If she wanted to catch him alone, tonight would most likely be the only time._

_She went and sat upon his bed to await his return. It was quite late, the girls had spent an enormous amount of time visiting and laughing, giddy due to the thought of fulfilling their dares. Surely John would be along shortly._

_She was truly sad to think that she was going to be losing these friends. But if she was truthful with herself, which she tried to always be, she was heartbroken to be losing John. She always thought that eventually, one day, maybe they would admit to the awareness they both shared. But she would have settled to just never lose him, to always be on his team and considered family._

_She laid back and began thinking over their first meeting and then moved on to missions and moments in Atlantis. As she grew tired she decided to wait a few more minutes. She could always try to catch him first thing in the morning._

_The next memory she had was of Sheppard waking her up._

"_So if this doesn't remind me of my childhood. Was my bed 'just right'?" said a grinning Sheppard who was sitting at the foot of the bed, next to where she lay._

"_Sir?"_

"_Goldilocks and the three bears? It was a story about this girl… never mind." _

_Teyla sat up next to John, trying to put herself right. "I am sorry that I fell asleep upon your bed, John."_

"_Don't be, I tend to fall asleep upon it as well."_

_Teyla knew that he was trying to put her at ease. If he knew what she was trying to work up the courage to do, he'd realize that no amount of humor was going to work._

"_How are you doing, Teyla?" he asked gently_

"_I will be alright, John," she admitted with sadness in her voice._

"_You know that you could always come with us. I know I've said it, but it's true," she could hear the hope in his voice. "We owe both you and Ronon; I know that we could find places for you at the SGC."_

"_Thank you, John, but my place is with my people." Teyla looked away, "Now that Atlantis is not available to us, we will need to find other ways to protect our galaxy and fight the Wraith."_

_She was pulled back from her thoughts when she felt Sheppard take her hand in his. "Teyla…have you ever thought what… I mean wondered what would, um…I guess I'm trying to say that I'll miss you…you know"_

_Teyla knew how hard that had been for John to utter and he deserved her honesty for even trying. "I have thought about an us, if there could or would ever be a place for an us." She looked down at their joined hands. "I just imagined that there would be a right time, maybe a better time to think on it."_

_She felt his free hand cup the side of her face, his thumb caressing her cheek. "I did, too," he whispered while avoiding her eyes._

_She felt the air catch in her throat as his eyes slowly moved from where his thumb was caressing her cheek down to her lips. He must have noticed the catch in her breath because now his deep green eyes were gazing intently into hers. _

"_What the hell," she heard a moment before his lips began to descend towards hers. She knew this was not going to be the rough, possessive kiss he had taken when his body was affected by the retro-virus. This kiss was all about the desire and awareness that had been simmering just below the surface for far too long. _

_As his lips touched her she felt herself coming back to life. Teyla slid her own arms around his neck. At the touch of her fingers on the nape of his neck, he pulled her in closer, the kiss becoming deeper._

_Teyla was torn between a feeling of joy and an overwhelming desire to cry. How had they ever not gotten to this point… _why_ had they never gotten to this point? She slowly slid her hands from around his neck, down his chest, feeling his heart beat under her hand. _

_John broke the kiss, but rather then pulling away she felt him kissing along her jaw as he settled her against his chest. They both sat there quietly holding each other, he seemed as reluctant as she to disturb the moment in any way._

_Teyla finally felt John reluctantly pull back. His eyes met hers and she saw the battle that must be raging between his heart and head. He kissed her one last time before releasing his hold on her. _

_He reached down and quickly untied his boots before walking across the room and picking up his running shoes._

"_John, what are you doing?" _

"_I'm leaving while I can." She watched him put his first shoe on, not sure what to say. "I walk through that gate at 0800 tomorrow morning by command." She watched him tie his other shoe and stand up. "Now… well, now I know…." He looked at the ground for a minute before shuffling to the door and leaving her._

"Teyla, how sad," Jennifer sympathized while walking over to sit next to her friend. "But now that we're back what did he say? Have you talked?"

Teyla heard the hope in her friend's voice and she took a deep breath before answering. "We are actually back to denying the awareness we feel for each other." She smiled sadly at the faces of her friends, "If he had stayed…well, he would not have been at the SGC. He would not have known to mount a rescue. He would not have helped save the City, Mr. Woolsey or General O'Neill. We would not be here in Atlantis, our home."

"In other words," Laura said with great disappointment, "Colonel Sheppard's responsibility streak is larger then ever."

"I'm afraid so, and unfortunately…he is right." Teyla held up her hand as the girls began to protest. "I am fine," she looked around at their faces to be sure they believed her, "for now, this is what he wants." The girls still looked a little unsure. "I could have gone with him, but I feel the same sense of responsibility to my people. Being a leader requires tough decisions at times."

Teyla took a good look around at the girls sitting with her. This is what she wished when they had last seen each other. She had wished they didn't have to go… and to be able to remain a member of John's team, those he considered family. She grinned at the girls, for now she was content.


	5. A Dare is Just a Dare

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: The Return, Part 2 – Season 3 - Still

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* * *

**

5 – A Dare is Just a Dare

Jennifer walked down the corridor and into the infirmary. After showering and getting ready this morning, Laura had called and asked Jennifer to stop by the infirmary to meet her and they could go to breakfast together.

Jennifer knew the Daedalus was leaving this afternoon and didn't begrudge her friend trying to see Carson before she left.

As she entered the infirmary she noted that it was pretty deserted. As she moved past empty beds and curtains she saw Laura and Carson in the back kissing. Without missing a beat she moved toward them.

When the couple didn't acknowledge her arrival Jennifer cleared her throat, "Hey you two," she announced, happy to see they were slightly startled. "My best friend sucking face with my boss," Jennifer teased as she pretended to cover her eyes in horror. "Do you want to scar me for life?"

"Sorry bout that, Lass," Dr. Beckett said looking slightly embarrassed. "It was just for a wee-moment."

"Yeah, well," Jennifer said looking pointedly at Laura while trying not to laugh, "It's going to be hard to get that image out of my head anytime soon."

Laura stuck out her tongue at Jennifer before developing a smirk and nodding behind her. The hairs on the back of Jenn's neck pricked up as she slowly turned to see who was behind her. There sitting on a bed was Ronon Dex, complete with a cut over his eye. Jenn slowly turned back to Laura and stared at her dumbfounded.

"You know, if you could stitch the boy back up, I could spend a few more minutes with Carson." Laura batted her eyes at Jennifer.

"You don't need to do that, Lass, it's your day off and all," Carson said starting to remove his hand from Laura's to move toward Ronon.

Carson felt Laura hold onto his hand tighter almost pinching. He looked at her quickly and she gave him a hard look before turning back to look at Jennifer. "You don't mind, do you Jenn?"

Laura gave Jennifer a pleading look, Jennifer glared back but knew she would give in. She could do this, he's just a guy who needs stitching and since she knew Laura was watching… she would prove it.

* * *

Ronon watched Dr. Keller come in and confront the couple. He'd been about to cough in hopes of reminding the couple he was there himself. He didn't really have much experience around Dr. Keller but he was amused and slightly surprised to find her personality was not as shy or timid as he'd thought.

She'd always seemed sure of herself when administering the post mission physicals, but quiet and reserved. When she had come to his room and kissed him she had been so nervous, nearly shaking.

Ronon shook his head slightly he still had trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that Dr. Keller had kissed him. He found himself often trying to think of a reason that she would have felt compelled to do so. Other times though, when his guard wasn't up, he found himself dwelling on the actual kiss, on the sensation of her lips on his, on the feel of holding the woman in his arms…

Ronon's ears perked up when he heard Lt. Cadman ask the young doctor if she could stitch him up so she and Beckett could have a minute before she leaves. Ronon watched Dr. Keller freeze for a moment before he saw her square her shoulders, turn and walked his way. As she passed by him Keller leaned in, "I think… she just called you a boy," came the stage whisper as she breezed by.

Ronon couldn't keep the smile from his face, but he schooled his features before she returned, hands washed, snapping gloves on. She gathered the suturing supplies before moving to stand before him. "So, how'd you get cut above the eye?"

"Marine got in a lucky swing," he deadpanned.

Ronon leaned back as she came toward him with a syringe. "I'm good," he informed her.

"Wonderful," he watched her set the syringe down, "now lean towards me, you're kind of tall," she commanded.

He leaned forward while mumbling loud enough for her to hear. "You're kind of bossy when you're a doctor."

"When am I not a doctor?" she responded busy with her supplies.

He could think of one time… and as she looked up at him, ready to start stitching, she must have been able to tell what he was thinking.

"Oh… well…" she said as he watched her face heat up, "yeah…" She busied herself with his stitching. He wondered if she thought about that kiss very often. Did she dwell on the intensity, did she notice that he kissed her back, did she wonder what went through his mind concerning the kiss?

When he looked back at her face he noticed her biting on her bottom lip and wincing. He realized she was anticipating his pain, and he found it sweet of her to be concerned about the pain she might cause.

"It's ok," he murmured, "It doesn't hurt that much."

Jennifer tried not to blush as she continued to stitch him up. She was unnerved being this close to him again. How embarrassing… what must he think of her… kissing him like that, without any provocation. She hoped he didn't think it funny, or worse pathetic.

But when she looked back up into his eyes all she saw was concern, with maybe a hint of humor. She knew right then that they were going to be ok. Maybe not fast friends or anything, but she knew that he wasn't going to hold her actions against her or over her.

Lt. Cadman came over to the bed as Dr. Keller finished. "So are we going to go eat or what?"

"Yeah, were finished here," Dr. Keller turned to him, "Please be careful with that," she said pointing to his newly stitched eyebrow. She gave him a look that she hoped conveyed her thanks.

Ronon gave her a slight nod, "Yes, ma'am."

"So, Ronon," the Lieutenant started and he noticed that Dr. Keller was cringing, "you want to come have breakfast with us?"

"No," Keller said quickly while looking intently at Ronon, "Ronon is busy right now and can't come."

Ronon decided to help the doctor out with her overbearing friend. "Yeah, need to go," he said as he hopped down and started to leave, "Thanks, Doc," he threw over his shoulder while walking away.

"We need to talk," he heard the Dr. Keller hiss at Laura as he left the infirmary grinning.

* * *

Jennifer didn't get the chance to talk with Laura until they were on the Daedalus. Laura made sure they weren't alone during breakfast, which was fine with Jennifer. They probably needed to talk in private anyway.

"So," Jennifer smirked at the worried looking Laura, "watcha doin'?" Jennifer sing-songed.

"Nothing."

"Nothing, huh, cause it seems like you might be match-making," Jennifer lifted her eyebrows turning the statement into a question.

"Just providing opportunities," Laura defended.

"I don't need opportunities, Laura." Jennifer stressed.

"It wouldn't hurt you to be a little less serious sometimes, meet more people than just us girls, date once in a while," Laura told Jennifer with conviction.

"Look, here's the thing," Jennifer said looking directly at Laura so she didn't miss a word, "if someone comes along that I'm interested in, I'd consider dating, but until then, I'm actually happy with my life. Especially now that we're back in Atlantis."

"I know you enjoyed that kiss," Laura taunted as she settled on her bed.

"It keeps coming back to that dare," Jennifer said with frustration. "The dare is not why you and Carson are together and it's not why Rodney and Katie are going on dates."

"Without that dare we would've never kissed." Laura said with certainty.

"That may be so, but it is only because the dare gave you the opportunity. The interest was already there." Jennifer looked at Laura and she didn't look convinced.

Jenn joined her on the bed so she was facing her friend and tried a different tactic. "If we'd paired you with Rodney, Katie with Sheppard, Teyla with Lorne and Marie with Carson, do you think you'd be kissing Rodney before leaving for Earth today?"

"Not hardly," Laura said looking appalled.

"My point exactly. Maybe now you can understand me. There was no previous relationship or spark for me and Ronon. We didn't know each other and we still don't. Not really."

"He kissed you back. There could be a spark," Laura suggested.

"Laura, he is not really my type." Jennifer said gently.

"How can he not be your type. He's a gorgeous, tall, strong warrior. He is constantly in need of medical attention… what could be more your type."

"He's quite stoic and brooding, from what I've seen," Jennifer listed. "He doesn't really smile or seem happy and… not much of a conversationalist."

"Maybe he has never had a reason to smile or talk much," Laura teased.

"And you think I could give him the reason," Jennifer laughed while rolling her eyes.

"What are best friends for if not to dream big for their friends," Laura said with a dramatic flourish.

"Yeah, well, go dream big for someone else, I'm fine." Jennifer looked around Laura's quarters, "so I guess I'll see you in about six weeks."

"Give or take," Laura laughed. "Too soon?"

"Funny, just be safe and I'll see you soon." Jennifer patted Laura's knee as she got up from the bed and headed out. "Bring back movies and goodies, that would be a great way to dream big for this friend."

Jennifer ducked out of the room just as Laura grabbed a pillow and threw it at the closing door.


	6. Restless

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: Echoes – Season 3 (the one with the whales, Lantean ghosts, and a solar flare)

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6 – Restless

Ronon was on his fourth jog of the day. He'd just been so agitated lately and nothing was helping. His attempt at meditating with Teyla had only gained him some much needed sleep and a glare from her.

As usual, he and Sheppard had gone running about an hour after dinner. A couple of hours later, Ronon was out on another run, this time without Sheppard and on a different course than before.

He wasn't sure why he was so out of sorts, but he needed to get it under control soon or he was going to stun someone for simply breathing too loudly near him. He was running at a pounding rate, hoping to wear himself out.

As he turned a corner in one of the corridors in an unused section of the city he heard the faint echo of footsteps ahead of him. Curiosity and instinct took over as he pushed himself a little harder to shorten the gap between them.

As he rounded another corner he could tell he was getting closer. The sound of the foot falls were becoming clearer. As he rounded yet another corner he caught a flash at the end of the corridor of a woman as she rounded the corner. He noted that she had picked up her speed.

Ronon picked up his speed as well. He rounded the next corner and found the corridor ahead empty. He slowed to a stop and listened, but he heard no steps ahead of him.

The tracker in him took over and he slowed his breathing to hear better as he walked silently down the corridor. He wasn't sure what was going on, but all of his senses were on alert.

As he neared the end of the corridor he heard a small breath behind him and he stopped cold, waiting for another sound. He slowly began to turn and heard a small voice behind him.

"You scared me to death, Ronon." He looked to his right and saw Dr. Keller peeking out of an open doorway. "Thank god for your dreads or I'd still be quaking in my boots."

Ronon looked down at her feet.

"Or running shoes in this case," she said laughing lightly.

"Sorry 'bout that. I didn't expect to see anyone running out here this late," he told her.

"That's because I'm usually the only one running out here this late," she informed him as he watched her stretching her legs to keep from cramping up. He'd only caught glimpses of her in the last several weeks since she stitched him for Dr. Beckett.

"I usually run with Sheppard, but I've been feeling a bit…"

"Restless?" she finished for him.

Ronon nodded his head, "Thought more running might help," he replied.

He could now add running to the list of things he knew about the doctor. It wasn't that he was interested in the doctor or what she did or didn't do. He'd just noticed their paths were crossing more than he had noticed in the past.

"Ronon," she said pulling him out of his musings.

"What?"

"Kind of lost you there for a moment," she teased him. "I was just wondering if you wanted to finish jogging together or if I should give you a head start."

"Let's go," he said and they started back. They ran the rest of the way in silence. He noticed she seemed at peace without talking and he was grateful she didn't feel the need to make this a social thing.

After they entered the crew quarters he said goodnight and they both headed off to their rooms.

* * *

Two nights later Jennifer was out running again, trying to wear off some of the restless energy she couldn't seem to shake. At least now they knew what had caused the restlessness, something to do with the sun and coronas… after that it was all McKay-speak. She was just thankful it hadn't been the whales, directly anyway.

About ten minutes into her run she came up on a set of stairs that led down a few levels. She enjoyed the going down part, but hated the back up part at the end of her jog.

As she rounded the corner she saw the stairs laid out before her and a solo figure sitting upon the first step. She wasn't going to even imagine Ronon was there waiting for her. From the other night she knew this was a route he took, just not usually at the time she did.

He'd said he was anxious and irritable lately and running helped. She'd also seen him spending most of his day worried about Teyla. She'd not realized they were that close, like siblings even. He handled Teyla with such care and tenderness that Jennifer felt like an intruder the few times she had approached Teyla's bed to take her vitals.

Ronon looked lost in thought, but she was not fooled. That man knew she was there. He was probably wondering why she hadn't approached him yet, so she began to walk. Once she reached his side she sat down on the step.

"Am I intruding? I can move on," she offered.

"No," was the single syllable reply.

"Teyla's feeling better," Jennifer offered, knowing he wouldn't be out here if it wasn't the case.

"Dr. Beckett said she should be released in the morning."

"Did it kind of hit you?" she asked him knowingly.

"A little," he raised his head that had been studying the stairs and peeked at her before his gaze returned to the stairs. "Wasn't expecting that."

"It does kind of sneak up on ya," she offered. Jennifer knew what he meant, until they'd had to leave for Earth when the Ancients demanded their home back, she hadn't realized how attached she'd gotten to Atlantis and its inhabitants.

"Would you like to run with me?" she inquired, sensing his need to escape.

His response was to stand and begin walking down the stairs. When he reached the bottom he waited for her to join him. She looked up at him with a soft smile before turning and beginning to run down the corridor. She couldn't help but notice he was letting her set the pace. After a few moments she picked it up a bit. Jennifer knew his thoughts would consume him and a faster pace always helped her when she was feeling that way.

The only sound heard while they jogged was the thumping of their feet. It had a very hypnotic quality that carried them for the next hour.

As their run came to an end near the crew quarters they said their goodnights without missing a step, both a little more relaxed then when they began.


	7. Cookies with Friends

_**A/N: **__This was one of my favorite chapters to write. Thank you so much Renisanz for all your help. The second half of this chapter is so much better than it would have been. Rodney and Katie are starting to grow on me… __Don't forget to review. _

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: The Tao of Rodney – Season 3

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7 – Cookies with Friends

Ronon followed the smell of cookies down the hall and into the small kitchenette off the crew quarters. When he entered the room he found it empty, but the stove he discovered was not. Inside were melting cookies, and he could distinctly smell the remnants of popcorn in the air.

Ronon knew it wasn't one of Sheppard's movie nights. The Daedalus was docked in the city and he had meetings to attend with Weir and Caldwell. Rodney was still in his lab trying to understand the notes he'd taken and the math he'd been working on during the whole ascension fiasco that almost killed him two weeks ago.

He didn't understand most of what Rodney had been doing while he claimed to be smarter. Ronon did know that at one point, when faced with losing his friends and running out of time, Rodney had lost his ego for a short time and let his feelings for his friends show through. It'd been nice, even if it didn't last long. Ronon was glad however that Rodney could no longer hear his thoughts, or more importantly, mess with his gun.

Ronon reached his arm around his back to feel for the scars he knew were no longer there. Rodney had also healed the scars. Ronon was thankful that the outward signs of what the Wraith had done to him were gone. Removing the scars however did not remove the memories or nightmares.

The scars had served another purpose. Some of those scars had been made by Doctor Carson, and reminded him of his encounter with Sheppard and Teyla… of his eventual home here in the city of the Ancients.

Ronon heard footsteps in the hall and observed Dr. Keller walk in smiling. He watched as she became aware she wasn't alone and quickly looked up to find him standing in front of the stove.

"And what would you be doing?" she teased.

"Just following the scent 'til I found the cookies. Those all for you?" he teased back hoping he was rewarded with at least a couple of the warm cookies she was pulling out of the oven.

"No, these are for the girls," she said as she scooped the cookies onto a plate. "We're having a movie night in my room to catch up. Girl talk, chick-flick, that kind of thing."

"What happened to poker night," he asked never taking his eyes off the plate of cookies.

"We kind of abandoned it back when the Ancients kicked us back to Earth. We decided to…"

Ronon noticed that she stopped speaking abruptly, but didn't really concern himself with it.

"You really aren't going to let me have any?"

"No, those are for us girls." Ronon turned to see a smirking Lt. Cadman in the doorway.

The redhead walked into the kitchen and over to Dr. Keller.

"We were starting to worry about our cookies when you didn't return," the Lieutenant teased the doctor. "I'm glad to see they are in fact fine."

"Don't worry your heads at all about _my_ well being," Keller teased back handing the plate of cookies to Cadman.

"We weren't, and now…" Ronon watched as the Lieutenant look him up and down, grinning, "I can go back and tell the girls you are… in capable hands."

Ronon watched Keller's face become a warm shade of red as Cadman turned to leave, "We'll go ahead and start the movie without you."

"You do that," Keller growled at her as she left.

"I guess we'll get to play twenty questions when I get back," he heard Dr. Keller grumbling. It looked like she was preparing another pan of cookies for the oven.

"I'll get some of those, right," he asked hopeful.

"I'm of a mind to let you have them all," she said while placing the pan in the oven with a little more force then necessary. 'All' sounded good to him though.

He watched Jennifer fish out a spoon from a drawer and grab the bowl containing the dough. She boosted herself onto a counter top and began to take bites of the dough.

He wrinkled his nose at her, "What're you doing?"

She stopped mid-bite and stared at him, "You've never had cookie dough, have you?"

He shook his head.

"Grab a spoon," she said patting the spot next to her on the counter.

He joined her and took his first bite very hesitantly. He looked at her and grinned as he spooned up another bite.

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes savoring the dough. "Watcha think?" Jennifer asked bumping his shoulder with hers.

He grinned at her, "Like not-cold ice cream."

"You're right, just like," came her laughing reply as the buzzer on the stove sounded. Dr. Keller handed him the bowl and hopped off the counter.

Ronon watched her divide the cookies onto two plates. She handed him one of the plates and held onto the other. "I guess I should go face the music." She said with a look of annoyance on her face. "Goodnight, Ronon."

"Goodnight," he replied as he watched her walk from the room.

* * *

As Jennifer entered her quarters Laura paused the movie. "So…" she asked with a devilish smirk.

"What?" Jenn replied as she found a place to sit to watch the rest of the movie.

"We want to know the details," Marie said as she turned to face Jenn the movie forgotten.

"There are no details. I made cookies. While they were cooking Ronon smelled them and came in. Laura came and got the first batch but wouldn't share with him. I made a second batch, gave Ronon some and brought the rest back here." Jennifer looked around at each girl pointedly, "End of story, or… in Marie's case 'details'," she said using finger quotes.

"So a hunky guy like that is just plain wasted on you," Laura said acting disgusted.

"I've tried to tell you Ronon and I are friends, and not close friends either."

"Actually," Laura said with mischief in her eyes again, "you've told me Ronon and you are merely acquaintances. Now I'm hearing you're friends. Sounds to me like the relationship is progressing."

"You are hopeless," Jennifer said dismissing what Laura said. Jenn was glad Laura didn't know she and Ronon jogged together several times a week. Laura would have a field day with that and the knowing looks from the rest of the girls would embarrass her.

"Sounds like you're the one that's hopeless," Katie piped in, grinning at Jennifer. "Is there even a romantic bone in your body?"

Jennifer looked over at Teyla who'd been quiet during most of this intervention, only to be met with a grin and lift of the eyebrow from the Athosian.

"If this was meant to be a romantic conversation maybe we should be talking about you and Rodney," Jenn quirked an eyebrow at Katie. "He seems to be able to remember you, whereas once he is in his lab, the rest of the expedition is easily forgotten."

"I wouldn't say that," she laughed, "He still forgets me, he just gets all flustered when he remembers and is sweet enough to try to make up for it."

_Katie looked up from the table and her samples at the sound of someone at the door to the botany lab._

"_Good afternoon, Katie," Rodney said rocking back and forth on his feet. The smug look on his face didn't go unnoticed by Katie._

"_I hear that you have 'super powers'," she teased._

"_Yes, yes, I'm a regular batman." _

_She would've thought he was being sarcastic, if it hadn't been for the cocky look upon his face._

"_Well, that's nice Rodney," Katie replied with less enthusiasm. _

_Rodney looked at her with slight impatience, "No, I don't think eating together in the mess hall constitutes a proper date. But you know that I'm a busy man. I thought spending at least a little time together was a good thing…"_

_Katie interrupted him, "Rodney, how…I mean I didn't say…"_

_Excitedly Rodney interrupted pointing at his head, "Why yes, another one of my new powers is reading minds. Isn't it great?"_

"_No, that is not great." Katie was practically seething as she walked closer to Rodney, "How dare you read my mind." Her hands were now on her hips. "That is an invasion of my privacy and I don't want you doing that."_

_Katie watched him begin to open his mouth to say something but she beat him to it. "Your right. It is nice to at least spend a little time together. It'd also be nice if once in a while you'd remember that you've promised me several dates and have only followed through with an actual date once since we came back to Atlantis."_

"_I'm a very busy man. I have lots of responsibilities, including saving Atlantis on many occasions. In fact I was on my way to the chair room when I stopped in here. I have some ideas on ways to make the city more efficient…_

_Katie had heard enough and interrupted him again, "Then maybe you should go do that. I wouldn't want to keep the city waiting, Rodney." _

_Katie watched him look at her a little startled. He nodded at her a couple of times before turning to leave._

* * *

"_Katie?"_

_Katie heard her name being called from the front of the botany lab and she was of half a mind to hide amongst the plants and bushes here in the back of lab until he left._

_Since their argument the day before she hadn't heard from Rodney. She knew he'd been busy. She'd seen the power fluxuations and figured that he'd been tied up with a lot of things that needed his attention._

"_Katie, you in here?"_

_He sounded earnest and a bit contrite as he called her name. Katie took a deep breath knowing that she wasn't the type of person that could ignore him._

"_I'm here, Rodney, in the back."_

_She heard him make his way back and she dusted herself off as she stood and walked away from the plant she was re-potting._

"_Oh, good, there you are," Rodney said while fidgeting with the front of his uniform jacket._

"_Katie… um… I… uh, need to apologize for yesterday. I was out of line, you were right – I had no right reading your mind."_

_Katie was a bit surprised by his apology. She hadn't expected it, especially such a sincere sounding one._

"_I would… uh… like to make it up to you. I have to go take care of something with Teyla, but would you agree to meet me in my room in about an hour?"_

"_It's ok, Rodney, I know you're busy," Katie said reassuring him. "Thanks for the apology; I shouldn't have been so hard on you."_

"_No, no, I deserved it, just please… please meet me in about an hour." He was so hopeful that Katie didn't have the heart to say no._

"_Ok, Rodney, I'll see you in an hour."_

_Katie waved her hand in front of the controls to Rodney's quarters for the third time, but she knew there wasn't going to be an answer. She tried not to be disappointed as she turned to go. She'd really hoped this would be the time he'd follow through and actually remember her._

_As she took her first step she caught sight of Rodney at the end of the corridor._

"_Oh, good, your still here," he said as he hurried toward her. "I ran into Ronon and had to take care of something."_

_He now stood before her and he grew silent as he spent a moment looking at her. It began to make her a little uncomfortable._

"_Rodney, are we going to go in?"_

"_Oh," he said seeming to snap out of it. "No, I… uh, have something else planned." He seemed to become more animated as he talked. "Would you take a walk with me?"_

_Katie began to grin at him, "Sure, I'd like that." _

_They didn't walk far, just to the nearest balcony._

"_I got some help from John on this," he said apologetically as he activated the door._

_Katie looked out and saw the most beautiful site. There laid out in front of them was a full picnic spread including the red-checkered cloth._

"_Oh, Rodney, it's wonderful." She said as she turned to him and threw herself into his arms. "This is such a surprise, thank you."_

_After a quick hug they both moved out onto the balcony._

"_Well, it's a start," he said rubbing his hands together. "You hungry?" he said as he knelt down and started unloading the basket._

_Katie smiled and joined him, she hadn't felt happiness like this in a while. _

"You do seem quite happy, Katie," Teyla commented, "Dr. McKay is wise to put forth the effort."

"Has anything changed between you and John?" Katie asked feeling slightly bad for being so happy in her own relationship, when Teyla's was non-existent.

"No, there are times when… I know that he is always looking out for me specifically when on missions," Teyla looked at the girls with a troubled face. "This just reinforces his reasoning to not have a relationship with anyone. His focus is divided, when it should not be."

"Since denying it isn't working out so well for him," Marie stated, "Maybe he should just embrace it."

"It would be a hard balance for John," Teyla voiced. "Do not let this dampen our girl's night. John and I will work this out one day, it is enough that we are friends."

"Well my little romance," Laura complained, "seems most the time to be non-existent. However, I think that near ascension thing had an impression on not only Rodney," Laura said smiling at Katie, "but Carson as well. He told me he would come get me when his shift is over so we can spend some time together. He's also real excited about some fishing thing that he and Rodney will be doing in a few weeks."

Laura grinned at Katie, "No offense… but I have a hard time picturing Rodney fishing."

Katie giggled at her, "Bet he takes a laptop and life signs detector with him."

"And lots of sun block," Jennifer piped in laughing.

During the girls laughter Jennifer's door chimed. "Come in," she called.

"Good evening, girls," Carson greeted as he hesitantly entered the room. "I didn't realize there was a gathering." His eyes locked with Laura's, "Do you want to postpone our date, lass?"

"Hell no," she replied looking him up and down. The man was dressed in dark jeans and a brown sweater bringing out his beautiful blue eye.

Laura turned to Jennifer as she stood to leave, "A hunky guy however is not wasted on me."

Jennifer stuck her tongue out at Laura before laughing with the other girls as they watched the couple leave.

Jennifer looked around the room at the remaining girls, "What movie are we watching and what did I miss."

"We might as well start it over again," Marie stated with a grin, "None of us were really watching. The four of us were taking guesses on what you were doing in the kitchen… alone, with your very own tall dark and handsome," Marie laughed at Jenn's red face. "I guarantee you our ideas were much better than what you were actually doing… Do you want to hear a few of them."

"No way!" Jennifer exclaimed covering her ears, "on with the movie or I'm kicking the rest of you out."


	8. Light in the Darkness

_**A/N: **__What a sad episode Sunday was. I really enjoyed seeing the types of things that occurred on a day off in Atlantis and would have loved to see more of what they do in their down time, but killing off Carson even though it brought about Keller was such a shocking disappointment. Even so, I find myself watching that episode often. I always wondered if Teyla and Dr Hewston were talking about John or not? Anyway, totally off subject. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing my story… __Don't forget to review. _

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: Sunday – Season 3

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* * *

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8 – Light in the Darkness

Dr. Keller closed the patient chart for Teyla and sat down on the edge of her bed in the infirmary. Today had been a heartbreaking day in Atlantis. Four expedition members had lost their lives, one of those being Dr. Carson Beckett. Life would move on and the sadness would ease, but at the moment Jennifer just didn't see how.

"How are you doing, Teyla?"

"I am a little sore, but more than that, it is my heart that aches." Tayla looked down at her hands in her lap

"I'm sorry, Teyla, I know you and Dr. Hewston were friends."

They didn't mention Dr. Beckett - it wasn't necessary. Both knew the other was grieving for the man who was the heart of the City.

Grasping for another topic, Jennifer began, "At least the power hasn't flickered or gone off in the last hour. Hopefully the engineers have that under control."

Jennifer saw Teyla turn toward the entrance; she followed her gaze to see Ronon stroll into the infirmary. He made his way over to Teyla's side, smiling at the girls in greeting.

"How is the city doing?" Teyla asked.

"Sheppard said the tower is structurally sound and McKay said they should have the power under control if they'll quit touching stuff before consulting him." Ronon shrugged.

"Well," Jennifer stood, "I'll let the two of you visit. I'm going off duty for now. I promised Dr. Cole I'd relieve her in the morning."

Before leaving Jennifer leaned down lightly hugging Teyla, being careful of her injury on the left. "I'm glad you're ok. Rest for me please."

"You also, it has been an exhausting day for you as well."

Jennifer gave the two a nod, "Goodnight."

* * *

Jennifer walked into her room and sat on her bed. She looked about dejectedly, not knowing what to do with herself. Sleep would be long in coming, and Jennifer didn't even attempt to fool herself into thinking she could do that.

She changed into her jogging clothes and set out. She was hoping an hour or more of her feet hitting the ground would help her mind turn off for a while.

After a half hour of running Jennifer realized the beat of her feet against the ground wasn't giving her the relief she needed. Instead the pounding was setting the tempo of her thoughts. The faster she ran the quicker the thoughts and images entered her mind. In a vicious cycle, the memories had her feet picking up the pace trying to flee and outdistance herself from her mind.

Then she was suddenly plunged into darkness and heard the sound of herself letting out a quick scream.

* * *

Teyla watched John approach her infirmary bed. He had a haunted look upon his face that he quickly covered as he neared the bed.

"Hey Ronon, Teyla."

"Hello, John," Teyla greeted, while Ronon nodded at John.

"How are you feeling, Teyla," he asked. "Anything I can get you?"

"I believe that I am fine, John."

"McKay and the engineers seem to have…"

Sheppard was cut off by the power going off, followed a moment later by the emergency generators in the infirmary kicking in.

"McKay," Sheppard growled in frustration.

"Jennifer," Ronon exclaimed as he grabbed the flashlight he'd set on the bedside table. Sheppard had handed them out after the first explosion when many of the systems had failed. He nodded at Teyla, before promptly leaving.

"Jennifer?" Sheppard asked while walking around to sit in the seat vacated by Ronon.

"Yes, Dr. Keller."

"Oh, yeah…" Sheppard stopped and looked at Teyla, "Since when is it not Dr. Keller?"

"They are friends," she said quietly.

"When did that happen?"

Teyla smiled wryly, "I guess while you were not looking."

Sheppard shook his head and looked around the infirmary. The place would never be the same without the Scottish accented orders given by the ever present Dr. Beckett. He looked at Teyla and a flash of her on the stretcher with a metal scrap of wall sticking out of her side swept through his mind. He shuddered and looked away.

"John?" Teyla's voice quietly pulled him back.

He rested his hand over hers in a reassuring gesture. The day went from a celebration of a well-earned day off, to mourning their fallen. He refused to contemplate life without her.

Sheppard laid his head down on the bed next to their hands and allowed himself to breathe. He felt her hand leave his and make its way into the hair at the nape of his neck, slowly stroking his neck. Her fingers had a lulling as well as tingling effect on him; he didn't dare move in case she stopped.

"We will be alright, John," he heard her quietly say with conviction. He wasn't sure if she was talking about the inhabitants of Atlantis or the two of them. Knowing Teyla, she probably meant both.

* * *

Jennifer stood stock still, waiting… waiting to see if this was a momentary issue. After a few minutes she realized this was going to be a prolonged problem.

Now her issue was whether to continue or go back. She wasn't sure if she was over halfway or not. Jennifer groped her way over to the wall and leaned against it. Damn but it was dark, as she lifted her hand towards her face she realized she couldn't even see her fingers wiggling.

She began to walk slowly with her hand lightly skimming along the wall for guidance. When she came to her first doorway she slid past the opening reaching for the wall beyond. She strove to keep her mind from thinking about all the things that go bump in the night. This was going to take forever and the blackness was already starting to unnerve her.

She began to see shadows of things lurking in the dark, even though her head said it was too dark even for shadows. Her ears were picking up noises she knew were either her imagination or herself.

Jennifer felt the wall disappear and realized that she was at a corner. She tried to envision herself running this way earlier. Had she made a right or left? She couldn't believe the memory was escaping her. She ran this way all the time, you'd think despite the dark or doing this backward, she'd have some instinct on this.

She moved to her left, but after another step or two and not finding a wall, she began to get a little panicked. She ventured forward another time and still no wall. She swung her arms wide in a circle and found nothing.

Where was that damn wall, any wall would do at this moment. She slid forward and swung her arms, but nothing came into contact. "Damn those engineers and McKay," she grumbled quietly. She found her voice in the dark was a little more comforting than the silence. "Get us all comfortable with thinking the lights would stay on and then this."

She took another hesitant step and found a wall, of course now she was unsure which direction she was facing. "Stupid Ancients and their need to build, then abandon, weapons to use against the Wraith." Jennifer's voice gained in force as she began to warm to her topic.

"Didn't they think it prudent to destroy the weapon when they screwed up that badly? Of course not, the Ancients don't get rid of anything. Stupid pack rats!" Jennifer's voice raised even more as her ranting continued.

"Could they have clearly labeled the item or locked it up? Nope… I bet they even made horrible parents, no safety guards on anything. No gate around the pool, no five point harness car seats in the Puddle Jumpers. I bet they didn't even have any baby gates…"

* * *

As Ronon left the infirmary he headed straight for Jennifer's running route. It was odd, and he wouldn't have ever guessed it, but he and Jennifer were similar. They both had really good friends, exceptional even, but when things were stressful they needed time alone.

Ronon jogged swiftly down the stairs where he usually met up with Jennifer on nights they ran together. He enjoyed running with her. She added a companionable layer without the need for a lot of idle talking.

Ronon knew when she left the infirmary she'd end up jogging to work out the stress, tension and loss she'd experienced today. He needed to get to her though. He knew the kind of darkness she was experiencing was disorienting. He experienced such darkness as a runner, while hiding in caves; it could cripple a man mentally.

Ten minutes later Ronon rounded a corner leading into another and the beam of his flashlight revealed Jennifer standing against the wall. He felt his heart stop at the lost look he saw in the posture of her body.

* * *

Jennifer watched the light coming her way mesmerized by the swaying motion. When Ronon came into view her body sagged with relief. It was as if she'd been holding herself together by sheer will. Waiting for the time when it'd be ok to fall apart.

"Ronon," she whispered raggedly.

"Jennifer?" he asked watching her bottom lip begin to tremble.

She placed her fingers on her own lips trying to control the quiver. "You called me Jennifer," she marveled.

He ducked his head, "Sorry 'bout that."

"No, please," she begged, "I want you to."

Ronon watched Jennifer lean more heavily against the wall and let gravity take over. When she settled on the floor the tears began. Not knowing what to say to her, he took a seat on the floor next to her. As her crying intensified he put an arm around her and pulled her close and simply allowed her to cry.

Ronon tried not to think about all the reasons Jennifer was falling apart. It had been a rough day for everyone, but he knew she was close to Dr. Beckett.

She'd paced, clearly agitated, in the corridor as close to the infirmary as she could get considering the lock out Dr. Beckett had invoked. Her pacing hadn't stopped until after the explosion. At that time she had raced to the infirmary and hadn't slowed down to grieve. Instead she had been in one surgery after another caring for those injured in the first explosion.

As Ronon tried to push all thoughts of the terrible day from his mind he noticed that his hand was absently brushing along Jennifer's arm as he held her close. This was the first non-professional touching between them since Jennifer kissed him months ago. Actually, if you didn't count his first few seconds of shock, you could say since _they_ kissed.

He was still unclear why she had come to his quarters and initiated that kiss. Other then a few moments of blushing in his presence here and there when she first got back from Earth, she acted as if it'd never happened.

She had captured his interest in that moment. Not in a romantic or sexual way, but he'd honestly not really noticed her before the kiss occurred. She'd treated him in the infirmary on occasion, but his thought of her hadn't extend beyond that context.

Then when she first got back from Earth, he found that he _noticed_ her. All the time. In the mess hall, in the infirmary, in the gate room, meetings, missions, hallways. He found himself wondering what made a woman like her tick, what were her likes and dislikes? Did she laugh often? Who were her friends? Why did she come back to Atlantis, when so many chose to stay on Earth when given the option of returning?

Now they were friends. He wasn't sure when that snuck up on him, but it was true. Somehow this woman had become his friend without an ounce of effort.

He had told John earlier today that he wasn't seeing anyone… that he wasn't ready. He realized one thing as his hand slid up and down Jennifer's arm. If he weren't careful, this young healer would change that… again, without an ounce of effort.

He felt her begin to stir and was startled to realize that her crying had subsided.

Jennifer leaned a little away from Ronon, but not completely out of his embrace, "Sorry 'bout that, Ronon."

"Nothing to be sorry 'bout."

"Kind of fell apart on ya there," she said attempting to smile up at him.

"You had reason," he said with a small smile back.

She fidgeted with her hands, "I just don't know how we're going to get past this… and Laura…Lt. Cadman," she clarified. "This is going to kill her."

"She'll get through it. She has friends… they won't let her fall," he said with conviction.

Jennifer nodded at his attempt to comfort her, knowing he was talking about Laura specifically, but also… all of them. "Thank you."

Ronon looked around the shadowy corridor, then back at Jennifer. "Do you want to head back?" He felt himself holding his breath.

She looked up at him guiltily, "You probably have things you'd like to get back to."

"No," there was truly nowhere he'd rather be, and he wasn't going to dwell on the why at the moment.

Jennifer looked away and then back at him, obviously uncomfortable with what she was going to say next.

"Could you tell me something that is good… you know, something that had a good ending? Like the story of how Sheppard and Teyla found you?" She looked at him sheepishly, "Carson told me you passed out when he finished removing your wraith tracking device from you back," Jennifer said grinning at him.

Ronon slid his hand up her arm until he could clamp down on her shoulder. He pulled her back while he leaned away from her. "You thinks that's funny, do ya," he growled at her just before breaking into a grin of his own.

Jennifer's eyes went from wide with worry to narrowed with a mock glare before she pocked him in the ribs tickling him.

Ronon's grin broadened and he leaned further away to get away from her wiggling fingers.

"Hey, hey," he laughed, "I thought I was going to tell a story?"

She settled her head back against his chest, "This ought to be interesting. I don't think I've ever heard you string together more than three sentences at a time," she giggled.

She could hear the rumble in his chest as he growled at her in warning. "Ok, ok, on with the story."

Ronon smiled as he looked down at the woman in his arms. He felt her body jerk when he switched off the flash light, "Don't want the light to burn out before we start back."

He gave her a quick squeeze as he began telling her a story, postponing reality just a little longer.


	9. Another Round of Questions

_**A/N: **__I just have to say that I find Submersion creepy, it's right up there with Vengeance and Whispers. When that queen wraith emerges from the water and her eyes open it sends chills down my spine. Anyway, doesn't have a whole lot to do with my chapter so I'll stop my rambling. _

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: Submersion – Season 3

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* * *

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9 – Another Round of Questions

"Are you sure you should be running?" Jennifer inquired as she jogged toward the stairs where Ronon was sitting, waiting.

"I'm fine," he growled back slowly standing.

"Remember," she tsked grinning at him, "Acting CMO here," she said pointing at herself. "I've seen your charts from your post-mission physical. You were knocked unconscious twice, and received an electrical shock while on that drilling platform. Jogging might be a bit hard on your body."

"Just means you might be able to keep up, little girl," he mocked as he started down the stairs.

She laughed and followed him down to the bottom as they started a slow jog.

"So, slow poke," she teased "whose turn is it?"

"Mine."

"You always say that," she laughed looking over at him.

Ronon just grinned back at her.

"So go on then," she encouraged.

"Why do you not want to become the permanent CMO?"

"I see you aren't pulling any punches today." They'd been playing this game each night as they ran. That was another thing… since the night in the dark; they'd been running together every night Ronon was not away on a mission.

During their run they'd ask each other questions in a fashion similar to truth or dare. At first the questions had been the get to know ya type…favorite color, food, etc. With their jogging route taking more than an hour to run they'd of course quickly ran out of those questions. The questions had quickly turned much more personal and tricky.

"It's not that I don't want to be the Chief Medical Officer, it's just that…well, I'm kind of young for such a position."

"So?"

"Well, not everyone will feel the way you do. Some will feel I don't have the experience or that I'm not old enough," she said with regret. "I don't want that kind of stress; I just want to be a good doctor."

Ronon nodded his head as they rounded the corner and started down the next corridor.

"So, my turn," she said with a grin.

Ronon scowled at her, but she saw the twinkle in his eye.

"Is Teyla better than you, or did she just get lucky today?"

Ronon stopped dead in his tracks and growled at her.

"What?" she asked trying to look innocent. "She kind of thumped on you," Jenn sweetly reminded him.

Ronon began running again, "Wasn't expecting her to kick me like that."

After a few more steps he spoke up again, "If she wasn't under the influence of that wraith, she wouldn't have attacked me that way."

"Didn't really answer my question ya know?" she teased him.

"You know, it is my turn next, little girl," he challenged. There weren't many people who were brave enough to tease him, especially about his abilities. He looked over at the young doctor next to him and shook his head, she was amazing.

"Ok, let me have it then," she invited with only a hint of worry in her voice.

He grinned back at her as he ran. He loved the way she worded things, "Give me a moment to think."

Ronon let her squirm for a minute while he thought. He knew what he wanted to ask, he just wasn't sure it was wise. He'd noticed the longer this friendship of theirs continued, the more he found his mind wandering back to that kiss so many months ago.

"Why'd you kiss me?"

The question was asked so quietly she almost didn't hear it over the sound of their feet pounding the ground.

Jennifer felt her heart stop at the question. She kept her head down and concentrated on running.

Ronon wasn't fooled; he'd seen her body stiffen when she heard the question. He took her lead and continued to run, giving her time for whatever she planned to do with the question.

She finally stopped running and looked at him. "I guess I thought since you never asked that it'd been forgotten," she said before looking away. "Or maybe I just hoped," she said more to herself.

"Do you want to pretend I didn't ask?" Ronon asked her, trying to give her an out.

"No, it's a fair question, and… one I expected a long time ago. It's just awkward now that it has come up." Jennifer wasn't sure how she was going to answer this question. Her mind was in such a scramble at the moment.

"No reason could upset me," he offered in a hope of reassuring her.

"You haven't heard the reason yet," she laughed nervously. She began to a walk and he followed suit.

"Just can't think of one that would make me mad," he gave her a smirk before looking ahead again.

"So," she said ringing her hands, "I guess you could say that I… um… kind of kissed you on a bet."

He looked over at her with a look of confusion.

"We were all leaving Atlantis and it didn't look like we were going to get to come back. Us girls all agreed we needed to go out with a bang." Jennifer shook her head, "It kind of sounds stupid now."

"Who is 'us girls'."

"Yeah, I uh… probably shouldn't say," Jenn said looking at him nervously, "I think they'd kill me if I said." Jennifer looked ahead and continued, "Anyway, they all got together and decided I needed to kiss you before we left."

Jennifer peeked at Ronon trying to judge how he was doing so far. Ronon was hard to read a lot of the time, and right now he wasn't giving anything away in his expression.

"Why me?"

"I don't know exactly… they probably didn't want to pick someone they themselves were interested in. For some reason they think you don't intimidate me, so they chose you as my dare." It sounded so impersonal when explained, like he was just a thing.

"So it was just a dare," he asked a bit disappointed.

"Ronon, it sounds so… I don't know detached." Jennifer reached out and touched his arm, halting him, "I'm not a very impulsive person, don't take many risks… coming to your room and kissing you was very hard for me." Jenn quickly removed her hand and looked at the ground, "You're very intimidating as a man… when I'm not looking at you as…a patient." She cringed as she looked at his face embarrassed by her admission.

"You find me intimidating? I thought you didn't… I _liked_ that you didn't," Ronon said hating how this conversation was going.

"I don't find you intimidating as a person," she said shaking her head, "as a patient, or even as a friend," she said trying to reassure him.

This is why you don't kiss strangers, Jennifer thought to herself, because one day they're no longer strangers and you get to embarrass yourself explaining why you kissed them.

"I did find _kissing_ you very intimidating. You were virtually a stranger to me." Her eyes were pleading with him for understanding. "You're this formidable, gorgeous guy that most the woman on base want to kiss, and I'm just this ordinary young doctor. You were way out of my comfort zone."

"Oh," Ronon replied.

"Oh?" Jenn asked, "Is that all you're going to say?"

"You didn't like kissing me?" she heard him ask and wished she could fall through the floor.

"Now…see…" Jenn knew her face was even redder now, "that is another question and it should be my turn next." She hoped teasing might lighten the very heavy air between them.

Ronon crossed his arms across his chest and looked her in the eye without giving any of his thoughts away.

"I liked it better when we ran is silence," she grumbled flustered.

Ronon's expression and stance didn't change.

Jennifer felt so trapped by the turn of this conversation. She tried to find the best way to phrase her response without further embarrassment. "Of course I liked kissing you… what girl wouldn't?" She threw the last part on there trying to minimize her admission.

She saw his stance relax and she found that interesting. She watched him turn to begin their run again. She wasn't going to let him off that easy.

"Did you not like me kissing you?" she asked out of curiosity. She watched him freeze in his tracks before turning back around.

"Is that your question?" he asked stalling his response.

"Sure."

"I didn't… dislike… you kissing me." He said stumbling over the phrasing.

"Well, that's flattering," she said rolling her eyes.

Ronon laughed at her, "It was a good kiss. Is that better, Jennifer?"

She grinned at him as she started to run again, "Much better."

She heard him growl as he began running along side her.

"Ok, you're a good kisser. Does that make _you_ feel better?" she asked.

"Much," he laughed as they made their way into the crew quarters.

Jennifer was still smiling over the exchange as she closed her door behind her.


	10. Uselessness

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: First Strike – Season 3

**

* * *

**

10 – Uselessness

Ronon wandered through the infirmary feeling conspicuous. It'd seemed like a good idea when he'd first headed to the infirmary in search of Jennifer.

Now that he was there he was starting to have second thoughts. The beds were as empty as the rooms. Ronon's plan had been to wander in, there'd be people about, they'd talk a little and he'd suggest a run before he left. But now it was becoming a little more formal. He was going to have to go to Jennifer's office and it'd be obvious he'd come looking for her specifically.

He'd never sought her out to ask her to do something with him before. She'd never sought him out specifically other then their kiss. Any time they'd spent together was just by chance, other than the running. The running was a little bit trickier to understand and so he'd decided not to dwell on it.

Ronon caught sight of Jennifer working at her desk. He felt a hitch in his chest and took a deep breath to clear it. Whenever he caught sight of her lately he experienced this…hitch feeling. He didn't want to deal with what it meant. Not now, not with everything that was going on. He took one final look around the infirmary before leaning against her door frame and making his presence known with a light cough.

* * *

Jennifer was poring over the files on her desk, trying to keep herself busy. The incessant sound of the beam from the Replicator satellite was making any concentration impossible. She'd tried sleep, she'd tried to make herself useful, but eventually she'd made her way to her office, trying to drown herself in her work. Having a patient or two would be helpful. It'd take her mind off her lack of anything to do and the noise that wouldn't go away.

She heard a cough at her door and whipped her head up to find Ronon lounging against the frame. _Thank god, something to do! _

"Hey, Ronon, did you need something." She waited a moment for a response, but her anxiousness had her jumping right back in, "Anything, please. I _so_ need something to do."

He laughed lightly because that is exactly how he was feeling.

"You want to go for a run?" he asked with hopefulness written across all of his features.

"I really can't be that far away from the infirmary. I'm sure you shouldn't be that far away either," she teased with a smile.

Ronon moved into her office, the disappointment evident in his shoulder slouch as he plopped himself into a chair across from her.

"I just feel so… there is nothing I can do to help. Sheppard is busy working on stuff with Rodney and Zelenka. Teyla is helping with stuff in the control room."

"Well, there are certainly no injuries or pressing matters here either," she said looking at him with the same frustration. They needed something to do.

Ronon cocked his head to the side and looked at her speculatively, "You wanna spar? I could teach you?"

Jenn began to laugh, "I don't think that'd be a good idea. I don't think they'd be real excited to hear the CMO was hurt while sparring during a city wide emergency."

"I'd never hurt you," came Ronon's quick, offended response.

"I know you'd never hurt me, but I heard about your sparring time with Rodney," she said unable to hide her grin. "He seemed to have trouble maintaining eye contact and avoiding bruises when you were teaching him."

"He needs to learn to focus."

Many people thought Ronon was this stoic, brooding, unapproachable, warrior type of man. Jennifer knew differently. If you watched his eyes you'd catch the emotion that tempered his words. Jennifer laughed at him; she knew Ronon had probably enjoyed teaching the whiny scientist a little too much.

Jennifer tidied her desk and looked back at Ronon, "I have an idea."

He wearily asked, "What?"

"Where is your sense of adventure," she said standing and coming around her desk where he still slouched looking skeptical.

Jennifer grabbed his hand, "Come on, I promise you'll like it and we won't have to go far in case they finally do need our expertise in this crisis."

Ronon clasped her hand and allowed her to pull him up and out of the infirmary. He had no intention of pulling his hand away and hoped she didn't either, at least for a few more moments.

Jennifer waved at Marie, indicating that she was stepping out.

Once they entered the hall she let go of his hand and he instantly missed the connection. But within a second she'd hooked his arm with her elbow and was walking with him down the hall. She had mischief in her eyes as she talked to him and a bounce in her step. He'd have let her lead him anywhere.

* * *

Jennifer had retrieved two spoons and some type of wrapped tube from her room while he waited in the hall. They made their way to the deserted kitchenette off the crew quarters. The balcony would've been better, but the noise from the satellite beam was even louder outside.

She hopped up on the counter and looked back at him expectantly.

"Can I use one of your knives?"

Ronon furrowed his brow at her, but fished a knife out from behind his back and handed it to her. He scooted back on the counter next to her and watched her cut a third off the tube, handing him the remainder and a spoon.

He looked at it speculatively, gave it a sniff before a big grin broke out across his face. He quickly dug in. "How did you get it in the tube?"

"They sell it in stores that way?" she grinned back at him not able to help the flip in her stomach. His smile was incredible, maybe in its rarity, although she was getting to see it more and more as they became better friends.

"Didn't John take you to any grocery stores while you were on Earth?" She imagined that if he found cookie dough in a tube enjoyable, that he must have been a riot in a grocery store.

"We went to a lot of places like the mess hall here…only different," he ended with a shrug.

"Restaurants?" she nodded as she spooned another bite.

"You keep these in your room?" he asked around his last bite.

"Yeeesss," she said tentatively.

He just smiled innocently, well… as innocently as the big Satedan could look.

She poked him in the side to tickle him, "They are mine, and I will only share if I want."

"You'll want to," he assured her as he tickled her side causing her to laugh as she leaned away.

"That's a bit arrogant, even for a good-looking guy that can kick my ass," she said while trying to tickle his side in retaliation. As her words registered in her head she pulled her hand back quickly… but not fast enough.

He clasped her hand firmly as her words repeated in his head. He didn't look up at her or utter any words. He was too intent on watching her hand, feeling the slight resistance of her trying to pull it back.

He took a deep breath to clear that stupid hitch in his chest. It might have worked, but at that moment he felt the resistance in his hand slacken and the ever so gentle squeeze as she tentatively held his hand too.

He didn't look up, afraid of her seeing the stupid grin on his face. Instead he concentrated on the feel of her hand in his while he concentrated on breathing.

After several minutes passed he felt a gentle tug from her hand forcing him to look up. He could see the blush upon her face still and the wonder mixed with confusion in her eyes. It was a complete mirror of his own thoughts.

"Ronon," she whispered, then cleared her throat. "I need to get back to the infirmary." She knew that she was chickening out, running even, but the emotions racing through her body were overwhelming her and she needed time for her analytical mind to process.

He nodded his head, but didn't let go of her hand as he helped her down.

"I'll walk you back," he offered.

She smiled at him shyly, nodding her head. She pulled her hand from his grasp and disposed of their snack and washed up the spoons, leaving them on the counter to dry.

They walked back in silence. Jennifer made sure her hands were busy with all of her fidgeting, not sure if she was ready to hold his hand again… if he even wanted to hold her hand again.

He said goodbye at the infirmary and she tried not to read anything into his quietness. The thoughts, questions and insecurities already crowding her mind, demanded she begin processing them.


	11. Floating

_**A/N: **__For those who may not remember all of the details of the episodes First Strike and Adrift I should remind ya'll of Evan Lorne's roll. Major Lorne led a group of F-302's that pulled an asteroid into the path of the Replicator beam buying Atlantis time to fly the City away – well almost that smooth anyway. The F-302s then returned to the Apollo and were to meet up with Atlantis on the new home planet. In case you haven't guessed there will be a little Evan/Marie in this chapter. Reviewing is always awesome… _

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: Adrift – Season 4

**

* * *

**

11 – Floating

Jennifer wandered through the dimly lit infirmary. She hoped all the patients could get some much needed sleep during this brief moment of quite. The city had been in chaos following the strike of the Replicator beam while the city shield had been down. The dire condition of their leader, Dr. Weir, had only made matters worse.

The young CMO walked by occupied bed after occupied bed in her infirmary, but her mind was else where. She'd come so close to losing Elizabeth over and over again today. Just thinking of how close they'd actually come caused emotions to well in her chest nearly overwhelming her.

Jennifer stopped at one of the beds and pulled the chart. She wasn't really looking at it, but rather trying to gain some perspective… a moment to stamp down the emotions. She reminded herself that they'd done it. She'd had an idea and Rodney had put it into motion and saved Elizabeth. He'd reprogrammed the nanites in Dr. Weir's body to not be harmful to her or the expedition. He'd then reactivated them and Elizabeth's healing had begun immediately and swiftly.

Colonel Sheppard had been pissed at them all. Jennifer had known he would be, but that was part of the job. Her course of treatment for a patient always had the potential to upset someone. She couldn't stand by knowing there was _something_ they could do. For Jennifer the motto had never really been 'do no harm' but rather 'do everything in your power to heal'.

Jennifer placed the chart back and continued to roam her infirmary while her thoughts were on Dr. Weir. What Jennifer hadn't anticipated was how upset Dr. Weir would be. Elizabeth was worried about the danger she could put the expedition and the city in having these active nanites in her body. Since the deed had been done, Jennifer tried to focus on the miracle of Dr. Weir fully healed and resting in her infirmary. Having her up and looking healthy infused the city with a sense of hope, despite the situation.

Jennifer saw Marie sitting on the floor in a secluded spot in the infirmary. She made her way over to her friend and slowly lowered herself to the floor.

"How are you holding up, girlie?"

"A little tired, and… I hate to admit," Marie let out her breath, "a little scared."

"Yeah, me too." Jennifer knew the city was running out of power and would be exposed to space soon if McKay and Sheppard didn't come up with a solution.

Like anything in the Pegasus Galaxy, their luck had held long enough to save them from immanent death due to a Replicator beam destroying the city, but not long enough to ensure their safety. The city had fallen out of hyper-space too early and their rendezvous with the Apollo hadn't happened.

"Sheppard must be up to something," Jennifer broke the silence. "He and Rodney came and got Ronon not long ago. I have even seen them in with Dr. Weir for a bit."

"That is why I'm only a little scared and not in an outright panic," Marie jested.

Jennifer looked down at her fingers as she rubbed them together. "I hope to never see needle and thread again," she laughed.

"Same here. I haven't stitched that much since practitioner school." Marie grinned, "Of course you'll need to keep honing that skill with Ronon around."

Jennifer could hear the mirth in Marie's voice.

When Jennifer didn't say anything Marie tried again, "So where did you lead Ronon off to earlier in the day, before we launched this floating city."

"Nowhere, we just went and got a snack," Jennifer shrugged hoping Marie believed the nonchalance she was striving for.

Before Marie could ask any more questions Jennifer tried to change the subject. "I bet Lorne is freaking out."

"You know it," Marie agreed. "He thought it'd be just a few hours 'til we all met at the new planet."

"He is over the moon for you though," Jennifer said with a grin on her face.

Marie had to grin back at Jenn, "Yes he is… but a little too protective."

"No such thing. Especially in the Pegasus," Jenn assured her.

"Did you hear about our fight after Dr. Beckett died?"

Jenn stared at her in confusion, "No, I remember walking in on the two of you making out. I had trouble looking Major Lorne in the eye for weeks."

Marie grinned at her friend before she began to recount the fight leading up to that kiss.

_She stood next to Dr. Watson's' bed writing in his charts. She didn't blame him for what happened to Dr. Beckett. There was nothing Dr. Watson could have done at the time, he'd been unconscious. If they had just gotten to him a few minutes earlier they may have been able to save both him and Dr. Beckett._

_Marie put down his chart and turned to leave, but was brought up short with a start. Evan was standing there and if Marie wasn't mistaken he looked…well… pissed._

"_What's wrong, Evan," she asked concerned. "What happened? Is everything alright?"_

"_We need to talk," he said in a very low voice, but not so low Marie didn't catch the anger. He clasped her arm loosely, she was sure with every ounce of control he had. He maneuvered them to a nearby empty room and shut the door._

_Once he'd secured their privacy he began pacing. "What in the hell were you thinking, woman? Why would you…how could you…" he shook his head, obviously having trouble finding the words. "That had to be the stupidest thing you've ever done," he declared, finally coming to a stop and facing her._

"_What…" Marie started, but apparently Evan wasn't finished._

"_I can't believe Beckett allowed you to do that," he roared, while he threw his arm out indicating the infirmary and beyond._

_By this time Marie had figured exactly what Evan was upset about and her anger was quietly gathering._

"_Allowed?" she asked quietly, "He didn't allow, I volunteered." Her voice was rising as what he was upset about sank in. "I'd do it again in a heart beat," she declared as she moved closer to him._

"_You could have been killed," he said in disbelief._

"_Dr. Beckett was killed," she felt the need to remind him, "but Dr. Watson will live, because of what Carson did."_

_Marie stepped closer to Evan, trying to keep her anger under control. "Don't tell me you haven't done the same many times for Sheppard's team and the others… even your own team. You put your life at risk every time you walk through that gate. Many of those times you know it _before_ you walk through that puddle," she ground out pointing in the general direction of the gateroom._

"_That is my job, Marie," he said in exasperation._

"_And this is mine," she reminded him._

"_Beckett ordered everyone out," Evan reminded her._

"_Yes he did'" she acknowledged, "but he couldn't have done it alone. I stayed because I knew he needed me."_

_Evan looked up at the ceiling, she watched him take a deep breath and very slowly let it out. He looked back at her, "What about me…I need you, Marie… I need you."_

_He looked so miserable. Marie took the few steps to him and slipped her arms around him. He remained rigid and resistant. She whispered in his ear, "I'm right here, Evan. I am right here."_

_She felt him release another breath, just before his arms came around her waist in a powerful hug. He held on like it was all that was keeping him afloat. "You almost scared the life out of me, Marie," she heard him saying. "Carson enacted that lockdown, then we heard you were up here with him. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe…" he trailed off as he turned his head into her hair holding her even closer._

_She tightened her hold in reassurance, "I'm sorry I scared you, Evan…I never meant to scare you. I only meant to help Carson operate on Dr. Watson. That's why I'm here."_

_Marie pulled back so she could see Evan. "All I can tell you for certain is that I'll always try to be here for you at the end of the day. Where we are…what we do…that is all either of us can promise."_

_Evan nodded his head before slowly lowering his head towards hers. She was caught in his gaze as he inched closer and closer. She could see all of the emotions warring in his eyes as he searched hers. "You are going to kill me, woman," he lightly accused. His voice softened, "You know that though, don't you?" _

_She grinned at him before she pulled him in and their lips met. She poured every ounce of emotion and love she felt for this man into the kiss. She felt nothing but the same coming from him. Her hands slid into his hair as the kiss grew in intensity, her last coherent thought being that she wished she wasn't still needed here at work._

"Then," Marie said dramatically, "You rudely walked in and interrupted us."

"Yeah, well, you two obviously needed to get a room," Jenn teased.

"We were already in a room," Marie defended herself, before quickly sobering, "He is definitely going crazy right now."

Jenn reached over and patted her knee, "We'll get there and he'll find you. It's just going to take a little longer than expected."

Both girls were interrupted when a shadow fell across their faces. They looked up to find Ronon standing over them.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked.

Both girls knew who he was talking to and Jennifer stood up, "Sure."

Ronon reached for her hand and lead her out of the infirmary. They only walked a short distance to a more secluded area of the corridor. He never released her hand and she never tried to reclaim hers, in the darkened, quietness of the city, it felt right.

"We are going to leave soon," Ronon said.

Jennifer looked at him slightly confused.

"Sheppard has a plan. We're heading out on a mission," he clarified.

"Can I ask where you're going?"

He looked away and then down at their clasped hands. He knew that she'd find out soon, especially once she heard that Dr. Weir was going with.

"Ok, I take it its dangerous then?" she asked.

He looked back up at her and she understood just how dangerous it must be if he'd come to tell her he was leaving.

"Can I ask you to be careful at least?" she asked.

"I'm always careful," he assured her.

"Your carefulness gets you injured a lot," she said while reaching out with her free hand. She placed it carefully on his chest over the bandaged injury she knew lay beneath.

He moved his free hand to cover hers upon his chest and she felt tears threaten. She knew that exhaustion was playing a factor here, but she was also becoming way too attached to this man.

Ronon released her hands and pulled her in against his chest and held her there. She allowed a few tears to escape before pulling herself together.

"Please be careful," she stated. "Maybe you should shoot for the non-injured kind of careful." She felt the chuckle through his chest.

"For me?" she asked.

"For you," he agreed before releasing her.


	12. Lost

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: Reunion – Season 4 (Just before Reunion)

**

* * *

**

12 – Lost

Jennifer heard a throat clear behind her. She looked up to find Dr. Cole snapping some gloves on.

"Dr. Keller, I can take over if you want to get out of here," Dr. Cole offered as she nodded her head in the direction of the doorway.

Jennifer looked in that direction and saw Laura was still talking with Marie. The Daedalus had docked in the City about a half hour ago and Laura showed up about ten minutes later to wait for Jenn to get off-shift so they could go eat and catch up.

Jennifer had missed her friend terribly. This was Laura's first time back since Dr. Beckett's death. She only had to stitch up the Marine she was with and she could leave.

"That's ok, I'm almost done here," Jennifer said as she smiled back at the young Marine, not wanting him to think he was any trouble.

"Actually," Dr. Cole smiled, "Marie asked me if I would relieve you. She even offered to help me if I'd let you go." She laughed at the look of confusion Dr. Keller gave her. "I think that Marie wants to be rescued. Your friend there is worse then a police interrogator." Dr. Cole laughed even more when she saw her CMO's eyes go wide for a moment.

"Thank you, Dr. Cole," Jennifer said hastily. "I'll send Marie over. Have a good evening." Jennifer smiled at doctor and patient before moving toward the entrance of the infirmary.

This was the Daedalus' first trip to the new home of Atlantis. They were receiving their new leader in the form of Colonel Samantha Carter. She'd gotten to know Colonel Carter briefly during her time spent working at the SGC when the Atlantis expedition members had returned to Earth. Although it was only a few weeks, she knew the Colonel to be a smart and fair woman. She'd never replace Dr. Weir, but she would be good for the city.

Jennifer walked by Marie and Laura, "I just have to lock up my office and we can leave."

Marie leaned in to Jenn when she returned, "Sorry."

Jennifer turned to ask Marie for what, but saw that she was already making her way over to Dr. Cole.

"So," Laura said as she smirked at Jenn, "you hungry?"

"Sure," Jennifer said hesitantly, "are you?"

"Starved, I think we should take dinner back to your room though." Laura raised her eyebrows at Jenn, "More private."

Jennifer followed Laura out of the infirmary very leery of her friend's current mood.

* * *

Jennifer wouldn't say that she'd eaten her lunch slowly, but she had definitely taken her time. She knew there was something going on with Laura based on the gleam in her eye. She was expecting a somewhat more somber attitude from her friend and found that she was almost afraid to be finished eating.

"Ok," Jennifer said after she took the last sip of her water and placed her tray on the bed side table. They were both sitting crossed legged on Jennifer's bed, "spit it out."

"What?" Laura asked innocently.

"You have been sitting there counting down to the moment you could say something, so… say it."

"I just wanted to catch up with you," she said feigning hurt.

"I doubt it," Jenn said sarcastically.

"Hey, I can be concerned," she said indignantly.

"Since when?" Jenn asked rolling her eyes. "What you meant to say was that you wanted to meddle and be nosey."

"I just was wondering how you and your warrior are faring?" the gleam in the Lieutenant's eyes shone even brighter as she watched Jennifer's face for the reaction.

"What?" Jennifer knew she was blushing and would never be able to pull off ignorance.

Laura smirked at her, "Marie said you have been spending a lot more time with a certain Satedan."

"Which one?" Jennifer asked in exasperation.

"Just dish already," Laura pleaded as if the conversation was paining her.

"I thought you were supposed to be in mourning," Jennifer stated wanting to know how her best friend was doing rather then delving into the unknown of the relationship between herself and Ronon.

Jennifer saw Laura's body still for a moment upon hearing the question. Jennifer felt a need to soften her words.

"How are _you_ doing, girlie?"

Laura looked away, mentally holding herself tighter as she answered, "I'm ok." The redhead looked at Jenn briefly and then back down at her hands. "I had a tough time of it for a bit there. Thank god I was on Earth at the time. General Landry grounded me…"

Laura saw Jennifer's jaw opened in indignation so Laura moved on quickly so she would understand. "He made up an excuse about needing my expertise on some explosives they were handling using some new components, but I know he was just making sure he could keep an eye on me."

Laura looked back at Jenn, the pain evident in her face, but Jenn could tell that it wasn't eating her up. Only time she knew could accomplish that kind of healing, glad that her friend had been given that time.

"When I was finally allowed back on the Daedalus, I began to feel whole again. Seeing my old quarters and knowing that I was going to see you guys gave me something to look forward to again." Laura took a deep breath, "Then we got word that Atlantis was missing. That had to be the longest two days of my life."

Jennifer nodded as she scouted closer to her friend, "Ours too."

Jennifer reached for Laura and the girl leaned into her embrace. "I'm sorry, sweetie." The tough Maine's response was to hold onto Jennifer tighter.

"Have you thought of transferring to Atlantis? I would really like you to, I hate being away from you for more than a month each time you go."

Laura pulled away from Jennifer. "You know, he never asked me that."

Jennifer knew they were talking about Carson, but was a little confused, "Asked you what?"

"To stay… transfer… he never asked me if I would be willing," sadness emanated from Laura's reply.

"Well, I'm asking," Jennifer reminded her with a smile.

"Actually," Laura said with a lighter voice, "now that the galactic bridge is almost finished the Daedalus has new orders." Laura grinned at her friend. "We will be playing a more "active roll" in the Pegasus galaxy, so you will be seeing _so_ much more of me."

Jennifer rolled her eyes, "Great."

"Yeah, be careful what you wish for and all that," Laura said laughing.

Jennifer glared, but Laura wasn't deterred, "So… has the big warrior kissed the maiden yet?"

"Not that again," Jennifer rolled her eyes.

"Hey, you interrupted Marie and I before I could get the low-down," Laura whined in her defense.

"Ok…I'll fill you in, but only because I know I won't get a moment's peace until I share." Jennifer shook her head, "Now that you're in the Pegasus I won't be able to just put you off until the Daedalus leaves," she mumbled earning a slug to the shoulder from Laura.


	13. Needed

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: Reunion – Season 4

**

* * *

**

13 –Needed

Jennifer leaned out the door to her quarters and looked both ways, confirming that the hallway was empty. She slipped out of her room and headed out to run. She had visited with Laura for hours and then they'd gone to the mess for dinner.

Laura had grilled her about her relationship with Ronon most of the day. Although Jennifer had found it uncomfortable, she knew sharing could also be therapeutic. It actually might have been if Jenn would've shared with Laura her confusion and thoughts, but she'd chosen not to. It was just too new and bewildering to share yet.

Jennifer'd been so glad when dinner time had come and she could escape from Laura. They'd gone to the mess hall to eat and that had ended the interrogation from Laura about Jennifer and the Satedan. When dinner was over Laura had a shift to cover on the Daedalus so Jennifer was finally left alone with her thoughts.

She wasn't quite sure how to articulate her jumbled feelings. That may be the real reason she hadn't shared with Laura. Jennifer knew she and Ronon were in some type of relationship… it just seemed to be a very complicated and confusing one.

If you based it on actions… there were signs of that. Ronon held her hand from time to time. Just thinking about it made butterflies flutter through her stomach. The big man seemed quite comfortable invading her personal space at will. He found many opportunities to casually touch her, hug her even.

Jennifer found that they also spent tons of time together. Eating in the mess hall, visiting in the infirmary late at night when it was quiet. Then there was the running… they still met up and ran many nights a week. The odd part of that was it seemed to just happen. No planning, no regular time frame, just when she went out to run, he was there, usually waiting on the stairs for her.

Jennifer was perfectly happy with this "relationship" they seemed to have. She was enjoying the butterflies in her stomach over the simple things. She knew that he was enjoying them too. That is why what she heard today was so devastating and why she was out here running hoping to not run into Laura or Ronon. She needed time to think and pull herself together. She didn't want anyone to notice she was falling apart.

During dinner in the mess hall she and Laura had overheard the gossip of Ronon was leaving Atlantis. Jennifer knew he and Teyla had stumbled upon three Satedan survivors, friends of Ronon's. She even knew he was a bit bitter that Colonel Carter wouldn't ok them to come to Atlantis.

Laura tried to ask Jenn about it, but she promised her she knew nothing about it. She wished if the rumor were true, that she could've heard it from Ronon. He had stolen her heart and treated her as if the same were true for him, but now she wasn't sure.

* * *

Ronon sat on the stairs and waited. He knew she would come. Information on Atlantis traveled quickly. There was no way she hadn't heard of his leaving. He'd hoped to discuss this with her before the base was abuzz with the news, but he learned that she was with Laura most of the day.

Ronon knew how concerned Jennifer had been for her friend. She hadn't seen Laura since before Dr. Beckett had died. Ronon had kept his distance to give the girls some time alone. Eventually though, he knew that Jennifer would go running to settle her mind and relax.

As he sat thinking of what he was going to say to her he felt at a loss. Their relationship was progressing, although a bit slower than he wished. She just had a way of making him feel out of his element when he was around her. He shared things with her he had never told another soul. She had that kind of affect on him, yet he had trouble getting up the courage to find out where their relationship was heading.

He laid awake many a night kicking himself for not kissing her… yet making promises that he would seize the next opportunity. But then he would be there… in the moment with doubts rising. Afraid to take the risk of ruining this_ thing_ that had his stomach in knots and a smile on his face.

Looking back it may be best that he hadn't kissed her. Leaving was going to be hard enough. Now he could leave wondering what he was leaving behind, instead of knowing exactly what he was giving up.

Colonel Carter had been right and her words kept echoing through his mind. "_When you accepted the offer to join Atlantis, you became a part of something. Like it or not, you have roots here now – people who care about you, who depend on you. Walking away may be a lot harder than you think."_

That last part had taken up a mantra in his mind, "_Walking away may be a lot harder than you think." _He was about to find out. He could hear footsteps approaching and the dread was forcing the air from his lungs.

* * *

When Jennifer had reached the stairs down and not found Ronon there waiting for her, she told her mind she was glad; she needed the time to think. She wasn't ready yet for him to tell her he was leaving. He heart though had mourned his absence. It had counted on him being there and telling her that everything was going to be ok.

Now as Jennifer approached the end of her run she realized she had really only resolved one thing. She was in love with Ronon Dex.

Jennifer stopped running and with her hands on her knees made a conscience effort to breathe evenly and not think. After a minute she began to walk, knowing that she need to move to keep her legs warm. Not able to deny her thoughts a moment longer she acknowledged her revelation. She was in love with Ronon Dex. Jennifer closed her eyes for a moment letting the realization sink in, accepting it.

She had started down that path the moment he returned her kiss so many months ago. She had been lost in his embrace, counting Mississippi's forgotten.

She turned the last corner before the dreaded stairs back up to the level that would lead back to the crew barracks. As she looked ahead she spotted the very man of her turbulent thoughts, waiting on the stairs for her. She slowed her pace; stealing herself for what she was sure would end with her heart breaking.

* * *

Ronon felt his heart tighten in his chest as he watched Jennifer approach him cautiously. She sat on the stair next to him, but he noticed that she was careful not to touch him. This was indeed going to be harder than he thought.

After several moments of silence he heard Jennifer whisper, "So… it's true." It wasn't really a question.

"Yes." He didn't know what else to say. He realized now that he should've been figuring that out before she came.

"Why?"

His reasons for leaving made sense to him, in his own head. He just hoped he could find the words to explain it to her. He wasn't the best with words, but if anyone could understand him, it would be Jennifer.

He cleared his throat while looking at his hands. "From the moment the Wraith took me, I had two goals. Kill Wraith and find my people. I've been killing Wraith. Now… I've found some of my people. I belong with them."

Ronon looked at her hoping that he'd said the right things to make her understand. She was staring back at him with hurt in her eyes and he knew he wasn't capable of finding words to make that hurt go away. Maybe if he was Teyla or Dr. Weir, they had always been good at expressing themselves, but he was a man of action. Words always seem to escape him.

He watched Jennifer look away, he wanted to reach out and touch her. He wanted to pull her into his arms and absorb her sadness. But he knew he was causing the sorrow and he had no right to hold her anymore.

"Did you know that we were given a choice?" she asked without looking at him. "When we were told the Ancients were gone and the Replicators had been destroyed in Atlantis… we were given a choice. We could stay on Earth, continue in the jobs we had found, even go back to the lives we had before Atlantis. Or we could come back to Atlantis, the Daedalus was standing by, we would pull out in two days with the supplies."

Jennifer flicked her gaze at him briefly before looking away and continuing. "I could've stayed on Earth. It would've been a safer and a less stressful life for me. I could've visited my father and relatives from time to time. Restaurants, shopping, all night coffee houses – it's what I knew before coming to Atlantis. But when they asked that question, Earth or Atlantis, my heart leapt at the chance to go back to my home and my life. Atlantis had gotten into my blood and although I was not _of_ the Pegasus Galaxy, it is who I had become. I'd changed; Atlantis and the people here changed me forever."

Jennifer looked at Ronon, "Maybe it's different for you. Atlantis wasn't really a choice for you; it was really the only option at the time. But I know Atlantis has gotten in your blood. I've see the pride on your face when training the new recruits. The joy on your face when visiting with your team while in the mess hall is evident. I've even heard you refer to your team and the members of the expedition as 'my people' when we've been off world."

Her eyes were now pleading with him, but her voice remained steady, "Why can't you be their friends and family while staying here on Atlantis? Wouldn't having Atlantis at your disposal make you an even better friend?" She turned her head and looked away, "What about the friends you have here?" she asked quietly.

Ronon reached for her hand, holding his breath, hoping she didn't pull it back. When her fingers threaded through his he began to speak. "I was lucky when Atlantis came along and freed me, gave me a home… became my friends and family. I needed Sheppard, the team and Atlantis…" his voice trailed off.

When Ronon started speaking again, his voice held conviction, "Now Tyre, Ara and Rakai need me. They are family… it's what I've been searching for since I was taken from Sateda." Ronon looked in Jenn's eyes, hoping for understanding, "I have to go, Jenn. It's time for me to be there for them… like Sheppard was for me."

Jennifer knew Ronon had made his decision, there seemed to be nothing else that needed to be said. She needed to be alone and it seemed the fastest way to get herself alone was to finish running back to her room.

"Laura is supposed to meet me, so I should get back." It wasn't a complete lie… but she wasn't meeting up with Laura until the next day. "Do you want to finish running with me?" she asked as she tried to disengage her hand and stand.

Ronon held on, "Jenn?" She was distancing herself, he was already beginning to feel a hole opening up in his heart, but he didn't know how to stop it.

"It's ok, Ronon," she assured him with a smile, "It's not like we won't see you again. I'm sure there will be missions and things."

He reluctantly stood and allowed her to pull free and begin to run. It was only minutes later that she said goodnight as her door came into view.


	14. Goodbye

_**A/N: **__Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing. The response to the last chapter was unexpected. This chapter picks up about where the other one left off. Reviewing is always enjoyed… _

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: Reunion – Season 4

**

* * *

**

14 – Goodbye

Ronon stood in front of Jennifer's quarters ready to activate the door chime. He'd been up most of the night kicking himself for the way he'd left things with Jennifer. After she heard and seemed to accept the reason for his leaving she had wanted to finish her run. Ronon knew she was hurt and wanted to be alone so he'd agreed to jog the rest of the way back to give her an out.

Ronon began pacing in the hall; he knew he should leave well enough alone. Seeing her again was just going to make it hurt more when he walked away…yet he couldn't seem to walk away. Actually, that had been the case since she kissed him so many months ago. Their paths had kept crossing and he couldn't walk away.

He'd been drawn to the girl that he had gotten to know. He had known she was a good doctor, but seeing her bravery, softened by a caring side had intrigued him. Watching her and Cadman interact was great fun and he was always amused and a little proud to watch her give as good as she was getting from the Lieutenant.

Ronon stood facing her door again. He knew why this was so hard, he'd had all night to trudge through his thoughts and feelings.

He was in love with Jennifer.

She had his heart, but it didn't change the fact that he would go. His people needed him and he felt a great responsibility to them. That didn't stop him from wanting to see her, touch her, and dream of kissing her.

He leaned forward with a hand on each side of the door frame, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes praying that she was both inside and not upset to see him. He was scheduled to depart in just a few minutes with Sheppard and the team and he didn't plan to return after the mission.

The door slid open suddenly and standing before him looking beautiful was Jennifer. He noticed that he had startled her, but she didn't look upset at his presence.

"Ronon," she said as she brought her hand to her chest, "You can't be doing that." She pointed beside the door near his hand, "I'm sure my door chime works."

Ronon straightened up, "Sorry 'bout that, um… can I come in?"

She stepped aside, "Yeah, sure."

He stepped in and watched her shut the door and turn to face him. He wasn't sure what to say and was content to just look at her.

"You all leaving soon?" she asked him quietly.

"Yeah, meetin' in the Jumper bay in a couple minutes, then we'll pick up my friends before the mission."

"Please be careful." She gave him a small smirk, "In fact, since I won't be giving you post-mission physicals anymore, and in your case stitches, please be extra careful."

Ronon gave her a soft smile, enjoying the teasing in her voice, but knowing she did care. "Yeah, Doc, sure," he said looking in her eyes.

He watched Jennifer break the eye contact, looking at the floor, "I'll miss you."

Ronon felt his heart squeeze in his chest and he growled in frustration at the situation as he found himself moving toward her.

He watched her attempt to take a step back from him and regretted that he was making her feel unsure about him… and herself. He took the last step to her and placed his hand upon the arms she'd crossed in front of herself as a shield.

"Come 'ere," he implored as he leaned over her, no longer able to keep from kissing her. As his lips touched hers, he closed his eyes and allowed the feeling to wash over him. Ronon felt Jennifer's body relax under his hand, but a slight tremble to her lips.

He pulled back after only the briefest of kisses. When his eyes met hers he found them pooling with unshed tears. He tried to pull away, confused… needing her clarification. Jennifer freed one of her arms and placed her hand upon his mouth.

"Please," she asked, "nothing that is said is going to make this any better." She slid her hand slowly, in a caress, from his mouth to the nape of his neck, while her other hand moved to grip his shoulder. Holding on to him, Jennifer used her tiptoes to bring her lips back to his.

Ronon put his arms around her in support. This time the kiss was unhurried as he tried to convey with his lips the depth of his feelings for her. She met his kiss with an exploration of her own that thrilled his heart.

Moments passed while he was lost in the kiss, but he soon became aware of the tremble in her lips again. When he pulled back he watched a tear find its way down her face to her chin. Reaching out with his thumb he brushed it away.

"Jennifer?" he asked his heart breaking.

"I'm fine," she reassured him. "I just hate goodbyes."

"Its ok that I kissed you…I mean before you left…you, um, kissed me. I just thought before I left… I wanted to… kiss you…" he looked at the ceiling, hating that he sounded so insecure about this. He took a deep breath and tried again. "I've wanted to kiss you," he declared as he looked in her eyes, hoping to see what she was thinking.

"I've wanted you to kiss me too," she promised as he watched another tear fall on her cheek.

"Not really the same response as when you kissed me goodbye," he stated as he brushed the newest tear from her chin.

Jennifer took a deep breath and a step back, "When I kissed you… back then… there weren't these kind of feelings involved…" She was interrupted by a call on her com link and she stepped aside to answer it.

When she turned back to him he could see the look of resignation. "We both need to be going." He wasn't convinced by her act and he was sure she knew. "Really, Ronon, I'm not good at goodbyes, I'll be ok in a little bit."

He reluctantly nodded, they were both out of time and reality was calling them away from each other.


	15. Release

_**A/N: **__Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing. Thanks to Renisanz for the beta it definately changed this chapter into something worth reading. This chapter happens in the middle of the episode Reunion. As a refresher if needed – Ronon and his Satedan friends along with Sheppard's team are on a joint mission to take out a Wraith facility. When they enter the facility they part ways to cover more territory. When the bullets start flying Ronon runs back through the stargate to get help from Atlantis. _

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: Reunion – Season 4

**

* * *

**

15 – Release

About four hours later Laura walked into the infirmary looking for Marie. Her voice over the com link had sounded worried, but cryptic. "_I need you in the infirmary as soon as you can get here." _Laura didn't see Marie right away, but sitting on an infirmary bed while dodging a determined technician with a swab of antiseptic, was Ronon.

"What are you doing back? The mission over already?" Laura looked around the infirmary, but didn't see anyone else being treated. She tilted her head sideways and looked at him speculatively, "I heard you weren't coming back?"

"Needed reinforcements, heading out in just a sec," he said batting away the technician's hand again. He turned to the man, "I said I'm fine," he growled at him before standing. "Gotta go," he said as he nodded at Laura.

Laura spotted Marie waving her over.

"What's the worry, Marie?"

"Jenn is going to kill me… but, I called her when Ronon came in. I guess the mission isn't going well, Evan is gearing up to head back out with Ronon, Colonel Carter and two Jumpers full of Marines. Anyway… she said she was busy and wouldn't be in the infirmary until later." Marie looked at the red-head with worry in her eyes, "You've heard that Ronon is leaving Atlantis at the end of this mission with his friends?"

"Yes, during dinner last night it was all the gossip."

"Did Jenn seem ok with it," Marie asked anxiously.

"Jenn was a little quiet, but she said she was ok."

"Yeah, well, I don't think that she is as "ok" as she claimed. She always treats Sheppard's team, especially Ronon." Marie raised her eyebrows at Laura for emphasis.

"Let's go find the slacker?" Laura replied sarcastically.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Laura sing-songed as she and Marie settled in Jennifer's room.

Glaring at the two girls, Jennifer tried to remember why she was friends with them. "I'm trying to enjoy a much needed morning off," she shot Marie a look of annoyance, "or at least I was."

Laura took in Jennifer's appearance, from her puffy eyes, to the fact that she was still in her pajamas in bed. "Sure you are."

"Sweetie," Marie said trying to be more sympathetic, "We're a little worried about you. How are you doing knowing Ronon won't be coming back?"

"Obviously," Laura butted in, "Not well, do you see how puffy her eyes are."

"Hey," Jennifer yelled at the Lieutenant, hurt.

"And she's still in her pajama's," Marie pointed out.

"I am…uh…laying right here you two," Jennifer tried to complain.

"You know what?" Laura asked turning to Marie excited, "She's in love with him!"

"What," Jennifer demanded, knowing that she was turning red.

"Sweetie," Marie quietly cajoled, "It is kind of obvious."

Jennifer threw her face in her pillow and rolled onto her stomach to hide her rapidly heating face. Marie and Laura moved to the foot of the bed and sat down facing their embarrassed friend.

"Do you want to tell us about it?" Marie asked gently while rubbing Jennifer's foot through the blankets.

"Yes, do," Laura agreed, "Don't leave out any of the details."

Jennifer rolled over and looked at the two and knew they weren't going to leave her alone. They were her friends, why would they leave; she certainly wouldn't if it was one of them.

"Ok, but then you promise to leave it alone. He's gone and there isn't any reason to dwell on it," Jenn said as she glared at the two goons perched on her bed. "This morning, before he left, Ronon came to say goodbye…"

"While you were in your PJs," Laura laughed.

Jennifer tried to kick the red-head through the covers, but failed miserably. "Of course not, I was dressed for work at the time. No more interrupting… anyway… Ronon came by my room this morning. He said goodbye and then… he… he kissed me."

"He what?" Laura yelled, her eyes huge.

"She said he kissed her," Marie restated for Laura before turning and grinning at Jenn. "So… don't stop there. How was it? Did you kiss him back? Did your toes curl?"

Jenn grinned back at Marie, here she had been so focused on Ronon leaving, that she hadn't really spent any time thinking upon the fact that she'd been kissed by Ronon. It had been a great kiss too. Remembering his husky voice telling her to "_come 'ere"_ sent shivers down her spine even now.

"That good, huh?" Laura teased pulling Jenn out of her thoughts.

She blushed looking from Laura to Marie before bobbing her head up and down. "Oh yeah, that man can kiss," Jenn stated causing Laura to squeal.

"Don't get too excited, you haven't heard yet that when he kissed me I cried." She couldn't help it. She'd been dreaming of Ronon kissing her. After their talk last night of why he was leaving she'd been resigned to the fact it was just not going to happen.

When he'd lower his head to hers and kissed her this morning, she'd momentarily been surprised, then overjoyed. But the shadow of his leaving and why he was in her room eclipsed that joy and she was unable to hold back the tears.

The shift of her bed brought her back to the present and she found herself flanked by her friends. Laura put her arm around Jennifer's shoulders and Marie took her hand.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Laura soothed.

"How did he handle the tears?" Marie asked her quietly.

"I could tell it was stressing him out, so I told him I was just really bad at goodbyes." Jennifer noticed that Laura didn't look pleased and she continued. "What was I suppose to do? He was about to go on a dangerous mission. The last thing he needed to be thinking about was that his kisses made me cry."

"Kisses? Like more than one?" Laura tried to clarify.

Jennifer glared at her with a growl.

"What?" Laura asked.

"Seriously?" Marie admonished the red-head.

"You know you were wondering the same thing," Laura shot back.

"Can you reach down deep and find your girlie side for a minute, you jarhead," Marie asked exasperated.

She turned back see a small smile on Jennifer's face, "Damn Marines," Marie muttered before taking a deep breath. "Did you tell him how you feel or that you wanted him to stay?"

"I did ask him why he couldn't stay here with us and still be their friends, but Ronon has such deep seated feelings of loyalty to his fellow Satedans… he really does think they need him, and he may be right," she sadly related.

"Besides, I'm sure he knows how I feel..." Jennifer trailed off as she noticed the skeptical look on her friends faces. "I initiated the second kiss," she defended herself. "And when he asked why this goodbye kiss was going so differently from the goodbye kiss I gave him so many months ago I told him. I said that when I kissed him back then there were not these type of feelings involved." Jennifer looked at both of them and noticed that their faces had not changed. "What?" she asked frustrated with the whole conversation.

"You don't actually expect him to make that leap do you? The man has trouble articulating more than a couple sentences at a time," Laura sarcastically replied.

"It doesn't matter anymore, he's gone. Besides, it's not like we won't see him anymore. There will be joint missions and things, I'm sure." Jennifer took a deep breath, "Now, I heard Colonel Carter gather together teams for the search and rescue mission, I should probably go ready the infirmary for their return."

When the girls looked ready to object Jennifer cut them off, "You promised to leave it alone. Now, I'm going to get dressed again so we can get going. The infirmary is going to be pretty damn full with Sheppard's team, plus the two sets of Marines Sam took with her, I could use a little help to get them all through their physicals quickly."

At least the full infirmary would help keep her mind occupied with something other then the missing Satedan.


	16. Wanted

_**A/N: **__Thank you all for reading and especially for the reviews. I know the last several chapters have been sad, but Reunion had to be a very hard moment for many members of the expedition. I do promise though not to end this story on a sad note. _

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: Reunion – Season 4

**

* * *

**

16 – Wanted

Marie heard from the first few Marines that shuffled into the infirmary that the search and rescue mission had been a success. She began assigning beds and staff as they entered the infirmary keeping an eye out for Evan. He had piloted one of the two Jumpers full of Marines that Carter had taken to rescue Sheppard's team and Ronon's friends when the mission had gone south.

She was anxious to see with her own eyes that he was home safe and unharmed. If the number of times Katie had called her over the com link was any indication, her friend was a little anxious to see Rodney back safe too.

Marie caught movement out of the corner of her eye and turned toward the infirmary entrance. Col. Sheppard was walking into the room, followed closely behind by a an obviously injured Ronon. Marie looked over to where Jennifer was tending to Colonel Carter to see if the doctor had seen Ronon yet. When she confirmed that Jenn was preoccupied Marie escorted Ronon to a private room and instructed him to lie on the bed and told him that she'd be right back.

Marie touched her com link and called for Laura as she closed the door.

"Go ahead, Marie."

"Ronon's here." Marie's voice betrayed her worry for Jenn.

"Be right there." Laura's held the same concern for their friend.

* * *

Ronon wasn't sure why the nurse set him up in a private room, but he was troubled enough by his thoughts that without much conscious effort he did what he was told. Ronon took in his surroundings as he lay back on the bed. He found the familiarity of the stained glass and blue-gray walls calming. Closing his eyes, he breathed in the infirmary smells, finding the scents soothing his soul.

Jennifer had been right, Atlantis was in his blood. Ronon wasn't sure when the change had occurred. He may be Satedan by birth, but his heart belonged to Atlantis and its people. His mind had fought it. He was Satedan first, at least that is what he thought, but today he had found that was no longer true.

The hint should have been when Sheppard's team and the Satedan team split up on the second level of the Wraith facility. He'd watched Sheppard, Teyla and McKay head in the opposite direction and he'd worried a bit for their safety watching them until they disappeared from view.

He and his friends had headed out in the opposite direction, but his ears had strained, following the Atlantis team. At the first sounds of P90 fire he had abandoned his fellow Satedan's to render aid to Sheppard's team.

* * *

"Does she know he's here yet?" Laura asked when she found Marie in the infirmary a few moments later.

"No, she just finished with Colonel Carter. She's scrubbing up before I direct her toward her next patient." Marie explained.

"Is he injured, is that why he's back?"

"Evan told me he's back for good."

"What?" Laura hadn't expected that.

"Shhh, here she comes," Marie yelled in a whisper.

"Anyone else, Marie?" Jennifer asked looking around the infirmary. Most of the infirmary had emptied out except for Sheppard's team. They had a habit of sticking around until the very last one of them was ready to go. She admired their loyalty and concern for each other, but at times it could get in the way of her job.

"One to go," Marie said as she began to walk toward the room Ronon occupied. She hoped to keep Jenn distracted until they arrived at the room. She didn't want to have to reveal who was inside or why they occupied a private room.

Grasping for straws, Marie spoke, "Will you need me for anything else?" Marie knew if she made this personal she would be able to keep Jennifer distracted until they reach the door and she could shove Jennifer in there.

Marie looked over at Evan who was just finishing his physical with Dr. Cole. "Evan wanted to go eat whenever I'm finished." It was a lie, although she was sure Evan would want to eat, she just hadn't had time to talk with him yet. Marie felt a little bad, but knew Jennifer would usher her out the door if she thought Marie wanted to be with Evan.

"No, no, go, I'm sure I can handle this. Dr. Cole is on tonight anyway, so I won't be here much longer." Jenn waived Marie off as she reached in her lab coat for her gloves and with the other hand she reached for the door as a thought crossed her mind. _Why was a team member in a single room instead of one of the curtained areas?_

* * *

Ronon looked up when he heard the door open. He watched Jennifer walk in snapping her gloves in place. When she looked up and saw him she froze. He couldn't tell if that was a good sign or not.

All Jennifer could see was Ronon lying back on the bed. All that registered in her Doctor's mind was the blood on his face and neck. She walked quickly over to him.

"You're bleeding, why didn't they call me in here sooner," she mumbled while her hands explored his face and neck. Once she was sure it was nothing serious she looked back into Ronon's eyes, "Are you seriously injured anywhere?"

Her worry was evident in her voice and eyes and Ronon had not seen or heard anything so beautiful. "I'll be fine, Doc."

She nodded her head, but noticed that his small smile of reassurance did not reach his eyes.

* * *

When Sheppard was ready to leave the infirmary he noticed Rodney sitting on a gurney, back against the wall, feet dangling and computer tablet in his hand.

"You want to go grab a bite to eat?"

Rodney glanced up at Sheppard for a moment before looking right back at his computer tablet, "Uh, no… I'm waiting for Katie," he said gesturing toward the Botanist standing out of earshot visiting with Lt. Cadman, Teyla and Marie.

Sheppard hopped up on the bed next to Rodney with his back against the wall and feet dangling also as he watched Evan approach.

"So you and Katie, huh?" Sheppard asked the scientist.

"Yeah," Rodney replied absently.

"How long has that been going on now?" John asked

"Well, she kissed me the night before we all had to go back to Earth, so… a while now,"1 Rodney said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"You might want to nail down how long," John chuckled, "women are kind of big on that."

"Oh, well… how 'bout you, Major Lorne, how long have you and Marie been seeing each other?" Rodney asked Evan, who was now leaning against the wall next to the bed.

"Wait," Sheppard couldn't keep the surprise from his voice. "You and Marie are seeing each other?"

Evan chuckled, "Yes. Should I be offended that you're surprised?"

"No, I think I need to be worried that I don't seem to know everything that goes on around here," John said shaking his head and smiling.

"To answer your question," Evan said looking back at Rodney, "Ironically, the same amount of time as you. Marie kissed me the night before we all headed back to Earth too."

The three men looked over at the group of women that included Katie and Marie. When Sheppard's gaze slid to Teyla, which it always did, a thought struck him. The night before they all had moved back to Earth he had kissed Teyla. As he thought back to that night, getting lost in his memories, he saw Teyla make eye contact with him and dip her head slightly at him. He did the same and his gaze moved on to Lt. Cadman. He remembered something else he'd seen before they'd all gone back to Earth.

Without thinking it through he began to speak, "You want to hear something kind of interesting? The morning that we left I stumbled upon Dr. Beckett and Lt. Cadman kissing out on the pier next to the docked Daedalus." The three men looked back at the group of girls huddled.

A second later Rodney and Evan's eyes met for a moment. Evan smirked while he heard Rodney clear his throat.

"So um... did you um… find yourself the uh… you know, recipient of a kiss before we left," Rodney attempted to inquire.

_Damn_, John thought, should've known that would be the next question. He looked over at the girls one more time before looking back at Rodney and Lorne, "Yeah, well, not all of us got a happy outcome. However, it kind of makes me nervous to watch them all huddled together over there. What do you think they're cooking up now?"

"I'm not sure, sir," Evan grinned, "But if that is how the kissing thing came about then who am I to interrupt."

Sheppard looked around the infirmary and noticed it was practically empty. "So, what are we all doing here?" He may not be in the know, but obviously these two should have a clue why they were hanging out in the infirmary.

"Well, I'm waiting for Marie," Evan chuckled, "she gave me strict instructions not to leave. She wants to hear everything that happened and why Ronon is back for good."

Sheppard looked around the infirmary, "Where is the big guy?" He hadn't seen Ronon in a while and assumed he had gone off to be alone to deal with the events of the day.

Both men pointed to the door across the room from them. It was the same door he'd seen Dr. Keller enter a while ago. He looked over at the girls and noticed that they may be huddled and visiting, but they all kept sneaking glances at the closed door.

"Well," John said amused, "that can't be good." He nodded toward the girls, "They seem to be interested in the occupants of that room."

Rodney's tablet had long since been abandoned, the conversation the three men were having was much more interesting. "You don't think that Ronon got… was… you know, kissed before we all left for Earth too?"

"The Doc is pretty tight with the Lieutenant and Marie," Lorne stated. "Actually they all hang out together a lot."

"Well," Sheppard said looking at the door to the room that contained the couple in question, "One thing I do know is that there is a very silent, scary, brooding, recently betrayed, man behind that door that can kick my ass. I'd rather not be standing out here looking like we're talking about him when he does finally exit that room."

Rodney's suddenly worried eyes shot to Sheppard's as he quickly gathered up his laptop and pushed off the bed. "I'm actually quite hungry… maybe we should all go grab a bite to eat in the mess hall."

Sheppard grinned, "Sounds like an excellent plan." Sheppard raised his voice slightly, "Teyla, Cadman, ladies, lets go eat, shall we." Teyla and Cadman both recognized the command, even if it was disguised as a suggestion.

"Shall we?" Laura asked.

"For now," Marie said, "but we need to find Jennifer later and find out what happened, both out there on the mission, and in that room over there," she said nodding in the direction of the occupied room.

Marie stopped and whispered something to Dr. Cole as they all made their way out of the infirmary. Sheppard wasn't sure exactly what was said, but Dr. Cole nodded her head with a small grin and headed in the direction of her office after a quick goodbye wave to them all.

* * *

Jennifer gave Ronon one more once over, taking in the injuries she could see and speculating on those she couldn't.

Jennifer walked to the counter along the back wall, pulling supplies deftly while her mind tried to catch up with events that were unfolding. Marie had definitely orchestrated this situation, getting Jennifer alone with Ronon. She wasn't sure if she should thank or curse her friend. Time would tell.

Gathering up the supplies she had grabbed along with a tub of warm water from the sink in the counter, she slowly walked back to Ronon's bedside, stealing herself before having to look at him again. She knew that he was a man of great perception and he was sure to notice her anxiety over this situation.

Jennifer took a cloth and dipped it in the water before she began to dab at his cut, loosening the dried blood so she could later apply the antiseptic and run the stitches.

There were so many things she wanted to ask. The more obvious questions seemed like a mine field though. Where were his friends? Why was he back? How long was he back for?

Ronon winced as she got closer to the cut and Jennifer tried to be gentler. The cut was rather long running from above his eye to below it. He was lucky it hadn't been deeper, threatening his sight.

"So what did this?" she asked as she gently dabbed near his eyebrow.

"Knife," he said as his eyes closed.

"I wasn't aware the Wraith fought with knives," Jennifer idly replied.

"It's from Rakai," Ronon growled.

Jennifer saw his jaw tighten. _What had happened out there?_ She was afraid to ask, but knew it was important.

"Ronon?" she asked.

He knew what she was asking. There was a part of him that needed her to know, but there was a part of him that felt so betrayed and embarrassed that he hesitated. He felt her pause in the cleaning.

She watched Ronon swallow, and then his eyes opened piercing hers, "They were Wraith worshippers."

He looked away, but not before she saw the pain clouding his eyes. Jennifer felt the pain squeezing her heart. _How could they do that to him?_ He was willing to give up everything for them.

Jennifer was at a loss for the words to comfort him. How could she possibly say anything that would make his pain lighter or their betrayal seem less gut-wrenching? The only thing she was sure of was how to treat his physical injuries. When it came to his emotional injuries she felt out of her depth, but unwilling to let him deal with those alone.

She pulled off her gloves and threw them away. "Why don't you sit up?" she quietly asked him. At his look of confusion she spoke again. "Your shirt is bloody."

Once his shirt was removed she began to wash the blood from his cheek and down the path it had taken to his neck. She rinsed out the rag and gently washed the blood that had seeped through his shirt and dried to his chest.

Her touch was like a gentle caress and he cleared his mind and concentrated on her touch. If he tried real hard he could block all the thoughts and feelings tearing at his soul.

He watched her get clean water and follow the same steps one more time ensuring she had cleaned all the blood from his body.

Jennifer took an antiseptic soaked pad and dabbed at each cut and scratch she could find to ensure a quick and bacteria free healing. She did all this while his jaw remained set, whether from emotions or from any discomfort she was causing she was unsure.

Next she let her hands gently explore his past scars as well as the new bruises forming as she searched his body for any other injuries all the while assuring herself he was truly here and ok. She heard his intake of breath from time to time as she checked him out, but he didn't utter a word during her exam.

She could feel his eyes on her as she pulled away. She helped him pull a scrub top over his head before smiling shyly at him. "I thought I told you to be extra careful," she teased as she indicted he should lie back down.

"This was being extra careful," he quietly teased as he lay back. He turned his head and watched her ready the needle for stitching as well as a syringe for pain and numbing.

Ronon had expected her to be upset with him… for leaving to begin with, but like his team, she accepted that he was back without flinching and moved on as if he had never planned to leave.

She held up the syringe for him to see and he shook his head no. She had known he would refuse the medication, but after the day he'd endured she wanted to at least offer any comfort she could. Jennifer carefully began stitching just above his eyebrow.

She covered the stitches as she finished and with his physical injuries attended to, she began to feel insecure. She wished that she could attend to his wounded soul as proficiently. She had no reason to keep him; she would have to let him go. She leaned down and kissed his forehead just above the bandage. "I'm glad that you're back," she whispered.

She stood back up and looked at him, insuring that he would hear her. "I'm sorry, Ronon. I'm sorry you lost your friends to those monsters."

She watched him sit up and swing his legs to the floor. He looked her in the eye and nodded his head in understanding and acceptance. "I need to go," he told her as he stood and made his way out of the room. She watched him until he'd exited the infirmary and let him go… for now.


	17. Comfort

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: After Reunion – Season 4

**

* * *

**

17 – Comfort

Jennifer turned the corner continuing down the corridor that led to Ronon's quarters. Three hours had passed since she stitched him up and let him go. She'd given him as much time as she could to dwell on the events of the day, but she could no longer stay away.

She looked up to find Teyla walking her way and knew that she had come from Ronon's room. She wondered about his disposition and whether his teammate had been able to lift his spirits at all.

"Hey, Teyla," Jennifer said as her friend was almost upon her.

"Good evening, Jennifer," she greeted as she returned a hug from the doctor. "Do not let him scare you off," Teyla warned before stepping around her and continuing down the hall. Jennifer turned and watched Teyla until she rounded the corner, wondering what state she was going to find Ronon in.

Jennifer walked the remaining distance to Ronon's room and found his door ajar. She peeked in and saw him sitting on his bed staring off at nothing, obviously lost in his thoughts.

She entered his room and moved within a few feet of the stoic figure. She knew that Ronon was aware of her presence, but patiently waited. After what seemed like forever he looked up at Jennifer.

"Hi'" she heard him growl.

"I needed to come… see how you were doing." It sounded lame in Jennifer's ears but it was the truth.

"I'll survive," he answered without any feeling in his voice.

Jennifer crossed the room to lower the lights and close the door. She got no protests from Ronon, but almost wished she had.

She returned to his side and sat at his feet, turning so her back was against his bed. She allowed the silence to swallow them for quite a while as she thought through again how she would feel if she were in his shoes.

As time wore on she cleared her throat. "I know you're a man of action and feel inadequate with words. If you want to talk though, Ronon, I'm here to listen. The words don't even have to make sense to me, it only matters that you share if you feel the need to."

"I can't seem to sort them out in my head, don't know how I'd say them out loud." He said still unmoving from his stoic position on the bed.

Jennifer laid her hand on his knee and the left side of her head against his leg. "You don't have to say anything out loud. But, I should warn you, I don't do silence very well."

She heard him expel his breath, and figured for a moment there was probably a small smile on his face.

"You should go," he said not surprising her after only a few minutes of silence.

"Not going to happen." she quietly replied. "I'm sure you want to be alone, but that would only vindicate your thoughts that you _are_ alone."

Jennifer paused for a few minutes to give him the chance to speak, but when he didn't talk or throw her out she continued.

"You stopped being alone when you kidnapped Teyla and Sheppard."

You stopped being alone when you decided to stay on Atlantis.

You are forever part of Sheppard's team, his family… and this in no way diminishes that relationship."

Each of Jennifer's statements was met with silence. She was unsure if he was even listening, but it probably didn't matter what she said. She just wanted him to be aware of her presence in the room and at his side.

"There is not one soul in this city that would deny that this is your home. You have family and friends here that love you, need you, would risk their very lives for you." Her hand on his knee gave a slight squeeze. "That doesn't sound like a man who is alone."

Jennifer allowed silence to descend on the room. She moved her hand resting on his knee in a manner that allowed her to hug his leg. "I know you are beating yourself up for the trust you placed in your fellow Satedans. You feel devastated that you put Sheppard's team in danger by placing your faith in your friends.

Ronon, your need to protect and your loyalty to those you feel deserve it is who you are."

Jennifer didn't think he was really listening. She wasn't sure that she was even helping.

"You need to let it go. You need to rest, both for your mind and your body." She lifted her head from his leg. "I could make it a doctor's order, but we both know you don't follow those too well." She still got no response or indication from Ronon that he wanted her there or needed her.

"I will leave you for now, Ronon," she said feeling defeated, "but I'm warning you… I will be back in the morning."

Jennifer began to remove her arm as she stood. When she was about to take her first step she felt Ronon grab her hand.

"Don't," he asked gruffly as he stood. Jennifer watched emotions wash across his face, but was unsure what most of them were. Ronon guarded his feelings so well, most of the time his face showed anger, boredom or amusement. The rest he never revealed.

"Don't leave," he whispered.

She nodded her head and waited.

He slowly lowered himself down to the bed pulling her with him. Laying on his back he settled her against his side and wrapped both arms around her.

Taking a deep breath she allowed his warmth and scent to fill her senses. She closed her eyes and felt a quietness and rightness in her body. She hoped that her presence and nearness was having the same affect on him.

"It is ok to grieve for them," she quietly spoke. "Not for the three that betrayed you today, but for the three that the Wraith took from you long ago.

Jennifer felt him tighten his hold on her and she hugged him back with everything she had.


	18. What was the Question?

_**A/N:**__ I'm in awe followed closely by goofy grins at the reviews that I received for the Reunion related chapters. A heartfelt thank you to all of you who read, but especially to those that reviewed. _

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: Two weeks after Reunion – Season 4

**

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**

18 – What was the Question

"Have you asked Ronon yet?" Rodney inquired as he set his tray down across from Lorne and Sheppard.

"I keep tellin' ya, no, Rodney. You ask him," Sheppard replied impatiently.

"I can't," Rodney whined, "He'd kill me."

"Ask who what?" Evan asked as he took another bite of his breakfast.

"The genius here," Sheppard waved his fork at Rodney, "Wants me to ask Ronon if he got kissed before we returned to Earth. You know, back when the Ancients sent us packing."

Lorne chuckled, "Are you nuts! It's been two weeks since his friends betrayed him and he's finally starting to ease up on my Marines. Talk about a wounded bear."

"That's right, it's been two weeks, you'd think Sheppard would've found a way to work it into the conversation," Rodney tried to point out.

"Why don't you just ask Katie?" Sheppard asked around the bite in his mouth. "Or have Lorne here ask Marie, they should know."

Evan's head whipped around and Rodney looked at Sheppard like he was speaking Ancient. Both of their heads quickly looked at the table the girls were sharing over near the windows to see if they were within hearing distance. Sheppard watched the guy's shoulders relax when the girls looked preoccupied.

"What? What's wrong with asking one of your girlfriends?"

Lorne smirked as he cleared his throat, "Then they'd know that we know something. And you don't want to reveal that you know something unless you know everything."

Sheppard was a little confused, but Rodney was bobbing his head in agreement.

"This is why it is best to stay out of relationships… too damn confusing." John shook his head. "You know, it could just be a coincidence, I mean… you two are in relationships with two of them, so there was obviously some interest there already. We were all leaving Atlantis… kind of an emotional moment. Laura obviously liked Carson… she did kiss him with your body," John said pointing at Rodney. "Stands to reason that she must have liked him a little."

"And I guess if there was something going on it doesn't mean Jennifer kissed anyone." Lorne agreed while the men watched the girls.

"Or that it happened to Ronon," Rodney agreed reluctantly, taking another bite.

"What happened to me?" asked the gravelly voice behind Rodney about the time he heard a tray touching down on the table next to him.

Rodney's body jumped, startled at the voice and he began to cough; choking on the last bite he'd taken. Ronon hit his back roughly a couple times trying to help him out. The choking scientist lifted his arm up squeaking out, "I'm…fine."

Ronon threw himself in the chair next to Rodney, "What happened to me?"

With watering eyes Rodney looked at Ronon, still trying to control the coughing, he sputtered, "Nothing, it was nothing."

Ronon glared back at him before turning to Sheppard.

"What?" Sheppard asked, not happy that he'd gotten dragged into this conversation.

Ronon continued to glare at Sheppard causing him to eventually squirm.

"Fine," John bit out at Ronon, casting a quick glare at Rodney before looking back at Ronon. "Rodney wanted to know if you'd been kissed right before we all left Atlantis and you went to live with Teyla and her people."

Rodney looked at John appalled, hating that he'd been implicated in the question. When Rodney's eyes snuck a look sideways he was met by Ronon's glare.

"I was just curious because it, uh... seemed that there was a lot of that going on just before we left. The kissing, I mean… and, well… it just seemed that if each of us was in that situation… and there are like..." Rodney looked over at the table the girls occupied, "At least five of them over there, then… well it just seemed like you might have…" Rodney turned back toward Ronon and upon seeing the unchanging glare on Ronon's face – let his voice trail off.

"You should hear yourself McKay," mocked Sheppard, "you sound like a school girl. _Katie likes Rodney and Marie likes Evan, so Jenny must like Ronon_. It's probably all just a coincidence."

Sheppard looked at Ronon and found that he was now the recipient of the glare.

"What?" John asked Ronon, but when he got no answer, John started to smirk, "Unless of course you did get kissed. _Does_ Jenny like Ronon?"

Ronon growled at him and John realized that he might have pushed it a little too far.

Ronon turned to Lorne, "Marie kissed you before leaving for Earth?"

Evan tried to hide his smile while he nodded and watched Ronon turn his gaze on Rodney. "And Katie kissed you?"

Rodney hated being the focus of Ronon's attention, even if his look had changed to one of curious confusion. "Yes and it seems that Carson and Laura were seen kissing too." Rodney stated trying to deflect a bit of the focus off him.

Ronon looked over at the table of women eating and a moment later moved his gaze to Sheppard. John gave Ronon an almost imperceptible shake of his head before turning his concentration back to his food.

Ronon began to eat his breakfast and his three tablemates breathed a sigh, but it was short lived.

"So you think the girls kissed you because they liked you?" Ronon asked without looking up from the plate of food he was devouring.

"Well, I don't know why Marie kissed me, but yes she liked me… still does." Lorne faltered at the end, not sure where Ronon was going with this. It was like wading through a minefield.

"How did you know?"

This question again came without Ronon looking up from his eating. Lorne looked at Sheppard who shrugged his shoulders, and then he looked to Rodney who still looked a bit panicked. _Yep, a minefield_, Lorne thought wondering where this line of questioning was leading.

"Well, she kissed me for one thing," Lorne tentatively started, looking at Rodney for some help. It's not like he usually talked about these kinds of things with the guys.

"Katie spends a lot of time with me," Rodney threw out while looking at Lorne trying to gage whether that was a good answer.

Lorne shrugged his shoulders and looked at Sheppard who had the same lost look on his face. Lorne tried one more time, "I guess because she told me she liked me when I asked, or because she invades my personal space, smiles when she sees me…." Lorne took a deep breath, "Ronon, what do you want to know… exactly?"

"Nothin'." Ronon looked at Sheppard, "How long 'til we leave on our mission."

The abrupt change threw Sheppard a bit and he consulted his watch, "About twenty minutes."

Ronon pushed back his chair, "Gotta go."

"You know if you paid attention during those briefings…" Sheppard called after the Satedan until he saw where he was headed. John looked at the Major and saw that he was grinning too.

"What did I miss," Rodney demanded when he saw the smirks on the two men's faces.

John just began to sing under his breath, "Jenny and Ronon sittin' in a tree…"

Lorne picked up for him, "K-I-S-S-I-N-G…"

* * *

"You're never going to tell that man you like him are you?" Marie said while nodding her head across the mess hall where Ronon was setting his plate down next to a coughing Rodney.

Jennifer looked over and watched Ronon for a moment before looking back at the girls. She let out a deep breath before she started. "I just… or better yet, _we just_ have not had any time. He has been out on five missions since the whole betrayal by his friends thing, and I've been out on three of my own. Other then a few times we have met up for some running, we haven't really spent any time together."

"Well, running takes a while, what do you two talk about then?" Marie wanted to know.

"We don't talk much, a little about his missions, a little about my day," Jennifer shrugged, "nothing special."

"Maybe if you told him you liked him this conversation wouldn't be so boring," Laura teased.

"When is the Daedalus due to pull out of here?" Jennifer asked.

"Very funny, you know we hang in this galaxy now that the bridge is fixed," Laura taunted.

"That's too bad," Jenn grumbled under her breath.

"We just wish for your happiness," Teyla expressed, "and Ronon's too."

"Thank you, Teyla," Jennifer said while giving Laura a glare. "Please just let me enjoy the fact that he didn't leave. Just for a little while, will ya. I'm sure if Ronon is interested in me we'll eventually talk about it."

Jennifer began to grumble, "Probably not today though since we are both scheduled out on a mission this morning with Sheppard's team," Jenn nodded at Teyla, "and somehow Laura and Lorne." Jennifer slid a look at Laura and shook her head.

"Hey," the redhead replied, "I get bored when we're docked in the city for too long."

"Lord help us all," Marie said rolling her eyes.

"Hey," Katie urgently whispered, "Here comes the big guy."

All of the girl's heads whipped around to watch Ronon take the last few steps toward their table.

Ronon looked slightly uncomfortable having all of the eyes at the table on him, but he quickly looked at Jennifer, "Can we talk…away from here."

Jennifer nodded before quickly getting up to follow Ronon out of the mess hall, but not before she caught Laura's sarcastic remark to the girls, "Maybe today after all."

* * *

After Ronon and Jennifer were out of the mess hall Laura and the girls looked across the room to the table that held Sheppard, Lorne and McKay and found them looking back. Sheppard shrugged his shoulders at the girls and Laura noticed that Lorne and Sheppard both looked pleased but McKay looked bewildered.

"Wonder what their ginning about," Laura mused aloud.

"I am not sure," Teyla said in an amused voice, "but Dr. McKay does not look to be sharing in their amusement."

The girls abandoned their table and made their way to Sheppard's

"What are you guys up to," Marie asked as she slid her arms around Evans shoulders and hugged him from behind.

"These two have a death wish," Rodney said standing up as if to make a break for it.

"How so?" asked Laura.

Rodney unconsciously slid his arm around Katie who had moved to his side. "They were singing that K-I-S-S-I-N-G… song while Ronon was still in the room.

Laura grinned at the two, "Did he hear you?"

"We're both still alive," Lorne chuckled, "so I doubt it."

"He seemed a bit intent on the good doctor there." Sheppard added.

"Let's hope so, it's about time he was _intent_ on her," Laura complained. "I was starting to think we were going to have to intervene."

"By we, I hope you meant you girls," Sheppard said looking a little green around the edges. "I don't think he'd hurt a girl, least not a human one."

"Yeah," Rodney agreed, "I'd rather not have any part of anything that upsets that large, brooding alien. I've barely avoided being stunned by him as it is. I think all he's waiting for is a reason."

Katie whispered something in Rodney's ear causing a small smile as they began moving toward the exit of the mess hall. "I'm going to walk Katie to work, see you at the gate," he called over his shoulder.

Evan chuckled causing all the eyes to swing in his direction. "What? It just seemed like a good idea." Evan said while disengaging from Marie to stand up. "I think I'll walk Marie to work too."

Marie smirked at him as he took her hand. Evan looked back at the group and couldn't help the smile on his face, "I'll meet you in the armory in a few minutes."

Sheppard looked back at the remaining group of Teyla, Laura and himself only to find Laura sticking her tongue out at the backs of their retreating friends.

"Been a grown up long, Lieutenant?" Sheppard laughed. "After seeing _that_ I hate to say _this_… but… time to get geared up in the armory," Sheppard shook his head and headed out.


	19. Every Other Reason

_**A/N:**__ So, thisis the last chapter. So I'm happy that there is a conclusion and sad that it is over. Thank you Renisanz for patiently beta'ing for me, I have grown because of you. _

_Since this is the last chapter it would be awesome to hear what everyone thought of the chapter or the story as a whole. _

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: Two weeks after Reunion – Season 4

**

* * *

**

19 – Every Other Reason

Once Ronon had exited the mess hall with Jennifer following him, he'd taken her hand and led her straight to his room. She now watched him pace back and forth slowly in front of her, obviously deep in thought. She wasn't sure if she should wait him out, or help him start whatever it was he needed to say.

"I think I'm getting dizzy here." Jenn teased, catching his attention.

"What?" she heard the confusion in his voice as he stilled.

"Ronon, what's wrong?" she asked walking to him and placing a hand upon his arm.

He looked down into her concerned face and it made his chest tighten a bit. She was so beautiful. He wanted to kiss her on the spot, but it was time to set a few things straight. If this went as he hoped, he'd still get a chance to kiss her before they had to get to the gate for the mission.

"I needed to ask you something."

_Uh, oh_, Jennifer thought. "What do you need to know?" she asked uneasily as Ronon stepped away and began to slowly pace again.

"Did you like me the first time you kissed me?" he stopped and watched her, looking for nonverbal answers.

Jennifer wasn't sure were this was going, but the butterflies in her stomach were fluttering as if they knew.

"I didn't dislike you," she winced and peeked at him, "but I didn't have any feelings for you."

"And so you ran away?" he sighed.

"I ran away…" she laughed, "because I kind of got caught up in the kiss, even forgot I was supposed to be counting. When I looked up at you after the kiss and realized that we had definitely kissed longer then the dare required…" Jennifer trailed off.

He had asked her a variation of this question before. They had been out on one of their many runs playing the question and answer game that they'd begun to pass the time and get to know each other better. The question then had been _why_ she'd kissed him.

Looking back she realized as embarrassed as she'd been over trying to explain the why, it was still easier than this. He seemed this time to be focused on her emotions and feelings.

Jennifer looked at her feet. "I was afraid of what you thought of me."

Ronon looked at her sheepishly. "I didn't think of you much before, but after the kiss… I wondered why you kissed me. Then you came back and I was curious about you."

Ronon shuffled his feet, a little uncomfortable with this discussion. "Spent a lot of time wondering what another kiss with you would feel like."

Jennifer felt the hitch in her chest at his confession. "Me too," she said awkwardly.

Jennifer's response was met with a lot of silence. She was sure that with time Ronon would get to the point, but trying to tread water through this conversation was killing her.

She took a deep breath and slowly let it out hoping she could calm the nerves that felt like they were closing off her breathing.

_And it all comes down to this_, Jennifer thought, the moment the girls were hoping she'd seize and finally tell Ronon how she felt about him. "By the time we did get around to kissing each other again, I had fallen in love with you… and then you were gone."

Ronon watched her head quickly dip as she looked to the floor after her confession. He felt his heart tighten as he took a few steps closer to her. He stopped just short of touching her before he spoke. "Did my leaving… and then well… not actually leaving, change any of that?"

Jennifer fidgeted while looking at their feet. "If the butterflies in my stomach are any indication, I'm still falling and don't plan to hit bottom… ever," was her sarcastic reply.

Ronon reached out and lifted her chin, so he could see her. He arched his eyebrow at her and waited.

Jennifer grimaced, she'd been spending _way_ to much time with Laura. "No, Ronon, it didn't change a thing. I'm still in love with you and would kiss you again in a heart beat." She saw the happiness hit his eyes first before he could even form words and she took advantage of it to tease him. "There wouldn't even have to be a good reason, it could be to say goodbye or hello, it could be right before eating or right before work, or because work is finally over or…"

Ronon placed his fingers across her lips to quiet her and was rewarded with feeling her smile form under his hand. "I am in love with you, little girl," he said as he took the last step forward and pulled her into his arms.

She tipped her head back so she could see his face, "I know…I could see it in you eyes."

Ronon released her for a moment while he moved to the end of his bed and sat down, pulling her down onto his lap. "I have the first reason," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

She quirked an eyebrow at him, "That I should kiss you?"

"How 'bout 'cause I want you to?" he asked still smiling.

"That one will always work," she replied as she leaned into him and met his lips. She reveled in the knowledge and freedom she now had to express her feelings for him anyway and anytime she wanted. No more sneaking glances at him, or trying to find legitimate reasons to spend time with him. Looking forward to minor injuries or lucky shots during sparring was no way for a doctor to be hoping.

Jennifer pulled back from their kiss and smiled into his eyes, she had never been this happy and it was stealing her breath. "How about because I'm happy to see you?" she asked.

"Sounds good," Ronon smiled and stole her breath all over again.

She took a deep breath and snuggled into him as he kissed her again. The kiss was slow and lazy and Jennifer wished they had the time it suggested.

Ronon must have been thinking something similar. He pulled back and traced a finger across her cheek before looking in her eyes. "How 'bout 'cause we're going to be late for a mission?"

"Another good reason, but I don't think Sheppard would appreciate that one," she said giving him a quick kiss before jumping up. She touched her com link, "Colonel Sheppard this is Dr. Keller."

"I was just about to call you," came back the grumpy voice.

"Can I have you and Lorne pick up my supplies from the infirmary?" she said sweetly.

"Already done, Doc. Can you tell Ronon I said to hurry up, we're waiting, that goes for you too, Doc." Sheppard said sternly.

"On our way, Colonel, would you like to talk to Ronon, I can put him on?" she asked.

"No, no, no," Sheppard quickly replied. "That is quite alright, Doc. There is no way in hell I'm going to interrupt the big guy when he's finally kissing his girl."

"How did you…" she started to ask, but Sheppard stopped her.

"Just get the two of you down here. Sheppard out."

"He says we're late," Jennifer laughed turning back to Ronon who was now standing next to her. "So I say we meet up here after the mission…" she said as she walked to his door. "And think up all of the other good reasons for kissing."

Ronon waved his hand in front of the sensors and the door slid open. "Sounds like a plan, little girl," he said grinning down at her. "How 'bout for good luck on the mission?"

"I love the way you think, Mr. Dex." She turned and slid her arms around his neck and he slid his around her waist to pull her close.

He gave her one last lingering kiss. He pulled away and took her hand as they hurried down the corridor. "You're going to make us late," he growled, but grinned down at her when she laughed at him.

They entered the gateroom hand in hand, capturing the attention of all their friends waiting for them at the gate.

"It's about time," Laura exclaimed with the goofiest looking grin he'd ever seen.

Ronon grinned when he looked around at all the faces smiling back at them. Jennifer had been right, Atlantis was in his blood and these people were his family. He gave Jennifer's hand a squeeze, "Remind me later to thank your friends for daring you to kiss me."

"Ah," Jennifer replied grinning back, "another good reason to kiss."


End file.
